tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70818697462733140022024-03-14T01:39:15.173-07:00Lotz of thoughtsRoula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-40443336660317063682023-12-21T03:33:00.000-08:002023-12-21T03:33:00.815-08:00 Let’s create Christmas magic together<p> It was only a couple of years ago, and after a lot of
questions, we decided it was time for Dimitri to know. I took him for coffee,
and we discussed the magic of Christmas, the blessing of celebrating the birth
of Jesus, and eventually, the meaning of Santa Claus – and the fact that he is
more of an idea and expression of love than a real person that travels the
world and gives presents. For him, it was a factual recognition. Of course,
that makes sense; otherwise, why do we collect gifts and money for kids who don’t
have? If Santa were real, he would take care of that. Extremely mature reaction,
if I may say so myself. He took it with pride, and being the eldest, he
promised to let his brother enjoy the fairy tale. I think it was worse for me. It
was a realisation that my firstborn baby boy was growing up and that we would
enter a new era in our family.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI7b-G4l5qW4m3lfgce4zLaE5Vj2YfX3jhGKUJ0_grh-2HhHFPVgZG8U_ls42NtPgEcHvlydPjuLbUuDNiViV_1zKr0sWrFDbbfZPTbOh5_LzG-g8OYm7_x8MnsmTjgz1wQRoeymsa7_aMlhp3HF8_5XRiwT_jE-k16tMbfaVDKk8EiUtwu__f9Su2Gz8/s632/410972317_865941988869288_7315779493583906653_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="632" data-original-width="526" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI7b-G4l5qW4m3lfgce4zLaE5Vj2YfX3jhGKUJ0_grh-2HhHFPVgZG8U_ls42NtPgEcHvlydPjuLbUuDNiViV_1zKr0sWrFDbbfZPTbOh5_LzG-g8OYm7_x8MnsmTjgz1wQRoeymsa7_aMlhp3HF8_5XRiwT_jE-k16tMbfaVDKk8EiUtwu__f9Su2Gz8/w266-h320/410972317_865941988869288_7315779493583906653_n.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><p>Fast forward, Philippos started asking questions and again,
the decision to have the talk with him before going through a festive season
trying to prove his doubts and us wrong. He is the scientist of the family, so looking
for evidence is what he loves. We thought it would be much worse if he
confirmed his suspicions rather than hearing it from us. In a similar manner, the
reaction was sober… well, for my son, not for me.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That was it, I thought. That was the end of counting the
days to Christmas day, trying to hide the gifts the night before, and waking up
on Christmas day. That was the end of Christmas magic in our house. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">How wrong was I?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Since then, the spirit and traditions of our family have
become a responsibility of all four of us. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We started last year with the message “we are all Santa”.
All of us get together at the beginning of December, and we do a Secret Santa
draw. With a slight amendment this year, the gifts have categories: need, want, eat, and read. It makes us all
think about the other person, who they are, what they like; or in other words,
put some effort into choosing gifts. “Santa” brings the gifts under the tree on
Christmas day, and oh, the excitement. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This year, the boys led us to another family Christmas
tradition. We have never had the naughty elf visiting our household before. The
elf now is part of the family fun. Every day, we decide whose responsibility it
is that night. Every morning, we all look together for what naughty situation
he got himself into during the night. The giggles when we discover him are so heart-warming.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Some traditions fade out as the kids grow (and that’s fine
but sad). For example, Dimitri this year doesn’t entertain the idea of taking a
photo with Santa and argues accordingly. “he is a random person that pretends
to be someone that doesn’t exist” or “it is like saying we will take a photo
with Quinton de Kock (his favourite cricketer) and then we take a photo with
someone that looks like him., what’s the point?” Now, imagine that with a
rolling of the eyes #preteen. Also, there was not even a discussion about building
a gingerbread house together (THANK YOU!). <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV9NWLVghx_hYjjP7J-MmPwsnNhA2CLmiCGe7JmhCzHZVJdEsw5ts4oxz8dW1JnpOo8dOpqm4o3TyzxCJZ5SDH2DRD6spV0OkHDPRrJ2ai7MJPQlxjGUVwBwNGsMGc18yUAWS2vuKUpF7LysIqzxMkfnkkaHBdgBxjTqzV8TgJ_GDYMirdrrlz4Mv3-_w/s960/10402515_10152832935145211_8453506232730939022_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV9NWLVghx_hYjjP7J-MmPwsnNhA2CLmiCGe7JmhCzHZVJdEsw5ts4oxz8dW1JnpOo8dOpqm4o3TyzxCJZ5SDH2DRD6spV0OkHDPRrJ2ai7MJPQlxjGUVwBwNGsMGc18yUAWS2vuKUpF7LysIqzxMkfnkkaHBdgBxjTqzV8TgJ_GDYMirdrrlz4Mv3-_w/w240-h308/10402515_10152832935145211_8453506232730939022_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcpA30-rORlLDKw6iUziXtgyRLxabaQoVYmPMUI3N6aVB6bCmHfCrmZrSR-y33H9WKPxeSldynM0OBE_KoPa1EGk6kSgZeWJiZXKBHeOSzAGLJ7QGKFs3RrBhUFbAHqKFrnUnd9vF0MdpDSGGFTYO2FH18woEQ0IKQajt1NTbxYvhsYX661FQRkI9o8_0/s960/10806469_10152832934650211_43131951451132898_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcpA30-rORlLDKw6iUziXtgyRLxabaQoVYmPMUI3N6aVB6bCmHfCrmZrSR-y33H9WKPxeSldynM0OBE_KoPa1EGk6kSgZeWJiZXKBHeOSzAGLJ7QGKFs3RrBhUFbAHqKFrnUnd9vF0MdpDSGGFTYO2FH18woEQ0IKQajt1NTbxYvhsYX661FQRkI9o8_0/w240-h308/10806469_10152832934650211_43131951451132898_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">I cherish
every memory of the two little boys and their excitement about Christmas, they
will always be in my heart. But as they grow up, it is time for us parents to let go of past expectations and create our family traditions with them, or sometimes just let them interpret the traditions with a fresh eye.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our kids demonstrate that the festive season is about the spirit, the feelings, the love, the dreams, and the blessings. It is the season to be together – not just in the same room, but getting close to each other emotionally, mentally and spiritually. </p><div>We are all Santa Claus, and we are all the Elf, and we are
all together counting the days. </div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-62934299085397327082023-12-10T22:32:00.000-08:002023-12-10T22:32:26.986-08:0040 - a challenge and an opportunity<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vLWPDoOR11Z_LgCq4vxXFtkjxGaNFE1oFmpZkHF84YviV8mpCmqytrmvD9PRWYV6Z80avVm1sskn-gkC_aCGNk1U5n_hPJyiW-RjNE_wU11vuBo9wpD7Cq3YIuuOf6vx-Gha4zxPA_W1tdlYzYdAOza1zwnQQgmkOlbDvDT3kRtLJf4v4K1yNsO9bXY/s900/403707380_10160789736105211_4708698628940860922_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="900" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vLWPDoOR11Z_LgCq4vxXFtkjxGaNFE1oFmpZkHF84YviV8mpCmqytrmvD9PRWYV6Z80avVm1sskn-gkC_aCGNk1U5n_hPJyiW-RjNE_wU11vuBo9wpD7Cq3YIuuOf6vx-Gha4zxPA_W1tdlYzYdAOza1zwnQQgmkOlbDvDT3kRtLJf4v4K1yNsO9bXY/w179-h179/403707380_10160789736105211_4708698628940860922_n.jpg" width="179" /></span></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">If you have gone
through it , you know what I mean. This year many of my reflections and
decisions were filtered through this lens…the 40- lens….</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Reaching the age
of 40, I experienced a range of emotions. There has been some reflection,
reflecting on the ups and downs of life and understanding how much everything
has changed. It did evoke feelings of nostalgia as well as a serious pause to
examine where I have been and where I am going. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">At the same time,
turning 40 feels like a time when I can have more confidence and
self-assurance. There is a sense of being more at ease with oneself and that it
is good to be myself, regardless of cultural and societal expectations. It is a
time for introspection and perhaps a gentle acceptance of the knowledge that
comes with age, all while looking forward to what will come.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As I turned 40, I
have better understood what genuinely counts in relationships. Genuine friendships
have taken on new meaning. Quality has surpassed quantity in my life, and I
find joy in genuine relationships founded on trust and shared experiences. In a
world that frequently values superficial connections, this year has taught me
to respect people who support me through life's ups and downs, emphasising the
sincerity of relationships over the sheer quantity of acquaintances.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I have become
increasingly conscious of the value of time. Time is irreplaceable once spent,
and this awareness has been a driving factor in establishing my priorities.
Every hour is now viewed as a valuable commodity, requiring an effort to invest
wisely in activities that provide pleasure and delight. The value of time has
grown, whether it is quiet moments of introspection or sharing laughs with
loved ones. Turning 40 has reminded me of the value of living in the moment,
making the most of every opportunity, and cherishing meaningful experiences.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My life has been
marked by confusion and pondering in recent months. However, navigating through
this interesting era has given me a greater feeling of happiness. I am
deliberately redefining who I am, discarding old layers and rediscovering areas
of life that are truly important and valuable. It's a journey of
self-discovery, an investigation of what it genuinely means to me and accepting
the changes that come with it. While this era was originally puzzling, it has become
a chance for growth and a greater connection with myself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif;">Turning 40 has guided
me to more authenticity and deeper connections. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif;">And let us be honest though, wisdom and calmness has not been instilled in me from the one day to another...This post may serve as a reminder in the months and years to come that I am work in progress...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif;"><br /></span></span><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Life really begins at 40...until then you just do research..<a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.yourdictionary.com%2Farticles%2Ffamous-quotes-40&psig=AOvVaw3RVnfTI8qOha5Ig1YjbWz4&ust=1702361846248000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCIC-vM3ehoMDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE">"</a></span></p></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif;"><button class="flex items-center gap-1.5 rounded-md p-1 pl-0 text-xs hover:text-gray-950 dark:text-gray-400 dark:hover:text-gray-200 disabled:dark:hover:text-gray-400 md:invisible md:group-hover:visible md:group-[.final-completion]:visible" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; 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I am turning 40 this year - another blog post might deal with that...It is my year to have a proper, justified reason for everything I choose to spend my time, efforts and energy. Things and people that do not make the cut, I might have to bid goodbye...Yes, you can call it decluttering, but it is not only that. It is about living my life with an intention and a purpose...</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So, I have been doing bellydancing for a few years now. I started when I was a Masters student, although I have been informally dancing on top of chairs and tables my whole life.. Then the PhD and the pregnancies and the babies became the reason for having a break. And then? I missed it much, and I found <a href="https://bellyacademy.co.za/">Ioanna </a>and her sisterhood. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">But why do I really dance?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I dance...</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To find <b>me </b>through the melodies and reconnect with my true self through the rhythm.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To savour every step, every spin, and every connection with the music.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span>To explore my emotions and embrace my vulnerability.</span><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">To laugh from the depths of my heart, to enjoy the present moment.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To express and channel my nostalgia for my home country through familiar sounds.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To share my time with women who are strong, resilient and inspiring..with women who are present....with women who take care of themselves to care for others.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To relive again the ten seconds before the music of my choreography starts and I wait behind the curtain and..</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To enjoy the ten seconds that I can hardly breathe at the end of the dance on stage.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span>To challenge myself, my body, my skills, and my capacity, both mental and physical.</span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span>To push my boundaries - that is where my strength, resilience, and growth potential are discovered.</span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span><span>To discover where one does not need to overwork and overachieve or, on the other extreme, have strict limits, but where one evolves with them.</span><br /></span></span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;">To discover inevitable happiness...</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">...and I am sure there are life lessons in all these, lessons for self-improvement, appreciating myself more, loving me deeper...</p><p style="text-align: justify;">#loveME #life_with_a_purpose</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj-ajHjkRDRqhzNcprEQX9Kx0OrsAi7m2GAf4sgn41cSPn7xuvy0ZmYyXU7EEi1oPD4drr41U0v5_8G78BxcmR72FO_1vYzyvqrNi0c8cbxGaZbgpmRHygCbKm_oYSiBc8ay_Vqv0vqgVqOAz02wnCXMGsDu5Mef2orTh-dvjS4vw3VT8joGk2-3E0xnY/s457/dance-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="457" data-original-width="366" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj-ajHjkRDRqhzNcprEQX9Kx0OrsAi7m2GAf4sgn41cSPn7xuvy0ZmYyXU7EEi1oPD4drr41U0v5_8G78BxcmR72FO_1vYzyvqrNi0c8cbxGaZbgpmRHygCbKm_oYSiBc8ay_Vqv0vqgVqOAz02wnCXMGsDu5Mef2orTh-dvjS4vw3VT8joGk2-3E0xnY/s320/dance-quote.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQsI-a2vl_-5EonTz5-Kn79llVbBjFzw0mu3EzhUz1fG5rHMCL6dxQCC4q9ghL6-sPrAgOkkO__RGy9VtwDDEg6q6PuWeH0ev4h73BdkaFnUlP7NYsxRFlweYkOXAWyWKK2csDHsYe6hdeBpppV4tSaogzL8xrmHmjO-G88DBR3aNWE2KF4UyJsfl8Yw/s2048/324269762_6373844779327512_6634716264897190943_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1372" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQsI-a2vl_-5EonTz5-Kn79llVbBjFzw0mu3EzhUz1fG5rHMCL6dxQCC4q9ghL6-sPrAgOkkO__RGy9VtwDDEg6q6PuWeH0ev4h73BdkaFnUlP7NYsxRFlweYkOXAWyWKK2csDHsYe6hdeBpppV4tSaogzL8xrmHmjO-G88DBR3aNWE2KF4UyJsfl8Yw/w223-h321/324269762_6373844779327512_6634716264897190943_n.jpg" width="223" /></a> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-2385932843986734052023-05-10T03:16:00.000-07:002023-05-10T03:16:10.448-07:00Surprise them (and you) with kindness<p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; mso-outline-level: 1;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: x-large; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"></span></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: x-large; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><b>“It's not our
job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our
job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and
heartless.” L.R. Knost<o:p></o:p></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: x-large; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><b> </b></span></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Our world is cruel and
harsh at times. Injustice, violence and poverty have become pictures of our everyday
life all fueled by pain and suffering. Our environments have become competitive
– survival instincts take over and hurt from our past and backgrounds take
over. Look around, ask how many people are on antidepressants and medication
for their mental health – do we solve the cruelty of the world that is painful or
we learn to live with it?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">All doom and gloom?? If
you have read my blogs before, you know that I tend to recognize the bad but focus
on the good – maybe to help myself too…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Our hope is our kids – cliché,
right?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The current <i>theme </i>in our family recently is <b><i>kindness.</i></b>
It started some time ago with a “kind challenge” – which we are reintroducing
now. We all get together every evening before bed and share what act of kindness
we did during the day. It is tough, I am telling you. Sometimes we get into
discussions on whether offering to carry someone’s books to the car is politeness
or kindness. And I admit it I have learned a lot from their way of thinking and
arguing (shhh, don’t tell the boys I said that…). <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The other day we got into
a different but related discussion. How do I respond to people who offend, irritate, or are plainly rude? <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Of course, answering back
or reacting or bringing my friends to answer them were all options on the
table. All these, though, would have two results: 1) the “rude” person was
expecting them so they were prepared with their own counter-attack, and 2) they
only fueled the situation without offering any resolution or relief for ourselves
either. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So, what do we do? Surprise
them with kindness!! They don’t expect it, are not used to it, don’t know what to do next and stop. Yes, I hear; not as straightforward and not always
successful, but well worth a try. Even if not for them, then for our own soul;
getting into a cruel, violent, hurtful exchange will not help our hearts, and
if our hearts are hurt, how can we radiate kindness to others around us?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I took these thoughts a
step forward and applied from me to me. Yes, our biggest bully is ourselves.
We create narratives in our heads, negative thoughts about ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am too fat/thin/short/tall…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am unfit…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am stupid…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I can never do anything right…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I don’t have friends…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am not considered….<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am not valued…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am not loved….<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">No, my dear self. I will
not allow you to be rude to me and treat me in an impolite way. I will shock you
with kindness. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Every time my mind plays
tricks, I force myself to say, send, do something extra kind. Sometimes an “I
love you” or “thinking of you” message to someone might be all that moment
needs. When I tell myself I am really alone and have no friends around me (oh
yes, that thought comes and goes very often), I open my WhatsApp and find a
dear friend to send a message of love and support. It is not enough to be
reminded of their love; showing my friends my love and care fills my heart with
kindness and takes me out of the negative cycles. Another example is whenever the
usual suspect of the <i>impostor syndrome</i></span><span style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> hits,
it is not enough to go back and remind me of all the hard work, all the
publications and other achievements. What helps is taking the initiative of inviting
colleagues to do something new, to work on something together, or to share an
idea. <o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Be the change you wish to see in the world” </span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 12pt;">A</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 12pt;">nother cliché, I know....</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br />It is important to
remember that the world is also full of kindness, compassion, and beauty. There
are individuals that work day and night to make a positive change in this
world. Kindness and generosity in the midst of difficult conditions. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The least that we and our
kids can do is not allow the poison to reach our systems, and our shield can be
kindness! <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/_PDPRax9dm8?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2227" data-original-width="2969" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaNtXBQ3BQW2DLMmpiLF-tSArDsK9crJPVz7jytKY7isG5X_XqGiURTnmnMDViePrrOR7Vtm5L0VW6WbXJJVViW50oAg1uyzq06uPioYvFQkOh9CqOFLzN1Gipe7XtJ-fj_aFwhP0ID-Hb5ZstwfmoUgqh9RkKE7aMKLIY_mSohcEU5CGMDmc0ayo1/w212-h159/adam-nemeroff-_PDPRax9dm8-unsplash.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> </span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Garamond",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Thank you for the photo <a href="https://unsplash.com/@adamnem">Adam Nemerhoff</a></span></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-8255390809903581072022-12-09T04:09:00.001-08:002022-12-09T04:09:22.221-08:00Science that listens and collaborates<p style="text-align: justify;"><i>(World Science Forum 2022 Cape Town )</i> </p><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Scientific and technological progress is a reality; sometimes, in some cases, faster and in others, slower. The question that comes to mind and is of concern is why these technological advancements do not reach society fully and how we struggle to achieve the UN Sustainable Development Goals. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">In typical Global Young Academy (GYA) and Science Leadership Programme (SLP) practice, we see all challenges as opportunities for change, and our discussions for solutions start with "how might we...?" and "how can we...?". Then the power and responsibility are on us to make the change.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So, how might we unblock the channels of influence of science and technology to unblock or assist more than we already do with greater societal challenges? </p><p style="text-align: justify;">..or how might we overcome the hurdles?</p><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am sharing here two thoughts:</div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1GNpLV1SOnN_lReX0HaQeUtYInx4otVivMSR_ZceZnm-jfGxCQdHUE7nNCSn0fL0hzg1ByYQGZyhQnIpAda1pT8GRKuQkcBdd9ymU7mAnmNWQDrmscleEKT6bwATmE3Caqlv8nTSDn7wRZ__UxgSH2hElZ_hcitZwh6TjCPivkJ1_-ZQVwY17JT9/s960/318153439_10160077063490211_4800216823147874026_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="693" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij1GNpLV1SOnN_lReX0HaQeUtYInx4otVivMSR_ZceZnm-jfGxCQdHUE7nNCSn0fL0hzg1ByYQGZyhQnIpAda1pT8GRKuQkcBdd9ymU7mAnmNWQDrmscleEKT6bwATmE3Caqlv8nTSDn7wRZ__UxgSH2hElZ_hcitZwh6TjCPivkJ1_-ZQVwY17JT9/w289-h400/318153439_10160077063490211_4800216823147874026_n.jpg" width="289" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">1) Communication of science</p><p style="text-align: justify;">And as soon as we read/hear this, we all tend to focus on how we, as scientists, communicate our findings to the public and policymakers. I would rather focus here more on the scientist as a listener. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Gone are the times that a scientist sits in the lab, produces results and says, "my way or the highway".</p><p style="text-align: justify;">The best research endeavours I know are informed by communities, understanding the needs and conditions of what happens there now. The first example is one by the research work of Nobel Laureates Proffs Duflo and Banerjee in the book Poor Economics. (the following is my own description and understanding of the research they have done). An interesting observation was made in a rural area in India: baby girls had a higher probability of dying from water-related diseases than baby boys. To solve this problem, scientists and local policymakers for years spent time and effort in water quality fixing (which indeed needed fixing..), but also in examining the physiological differences between boys and girls. Nothing concrete came out of this, so the research team went to spend time with the community. In the local culture, families value a boy more than a girl. When a woman gave birth to a girl, she was only allowed to breastfeed for a short period, so she started trying to fall pregnant again - to give birth to the desired boy. That was not the case with a boy-mama that is encouraged to breastfeed the boy as long as possible. This separation results in baby girls starting to drink water much earlier than boys while their immune systems are not fully developed. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I read a statistic a long time ago that African citizens are reluctant to adopt new technologies such as LED energy-saving bulbs. That article went on about the cultural differences of the African population. When I visited Abuja in 2018, I made a point of asking as many people as possible - and I received mostly the same answer. With frequent power cuts, LED bulbs burn much easier than traditional bulbs, so they can become expensive and not serve their saving purpose. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">If we, as scientists, don't listen, we might try to solve problems that don't exist and waste resources in the wrong places. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">2) Collaboration and cooperation</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Scientific solutions and technological achievements in the past were discipline-specific and aimed at solving one problem at a time. In a world of constraints and limited resources, or (as it was fairly pointed out by the audience) rather a world of misallocated resources, I am looking forward to synergies and win-win conditions in proposed solutions. We should be careful in introducing solutions that solve one thing and destroy the progress in something else. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">One of the biggest issues in the African continent is access to energy. In the past, we looked at infrastructure and how to expand the national grid. Nowadays, the research looks at mini-grids, solar power solutions and community-owned generation. What do we improve then? 1) Energy access and energy poverty improving thus the living conditions of the population; 2) Economic poverty; Communities now can sell the excess energy they generate and, thus, generate additional income as well; 3) Climate change considerations; the communities will not use dirty fuels that are the reason for air pollution and several deaths due to lung problems. And all that, without creating generations dependent on social grants, but allowing social integrity and social justice to prevail by inclusive governance.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So I call today for Science that not only talks but listens...</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> that is prepared to co-create solutions</span><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span> that collaborates and combines resources for greater societal benefit. </span><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Inspired by</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Duflo, E., & Banerjee, A. (2011). Poor economics (Vol. 619). PublicAffairs.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/scientists-should-talk-to-the-public-but-also-listen/</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-36495081398866612432022-11-28T00:24:00.003-08:002022-11-28T02:56:06.412-08:00My whole...<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"> </span></p><div class="separator" dir="rtl" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />Yes, I am an academic </span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> no,</span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> I am not only that</span></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Yes, I am a mother </span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> no, I am not only that</span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Yes, I am a wife</span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> no, I am not only that</span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Yes, I am a friend</span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> no, I am not only that</span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Yes, I am a daughter</span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"> no, I am not only that</span></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">Yes, I am a dancer no, I am not only that</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">Yes, I am a woman</span></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">and I am all these and so much more </span></div><div style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white;"><div style="color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to explore...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white;"><div style="color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to experience...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to feel and sense....</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to see with my eyes...</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white;"><div style="color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to laugh loudly about...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More to cry tears about...</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet; font-size: medium;">More love to run through my veins...</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><div style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: trebuchet; font-size: x-small;">"The whole is greater than the sum of the parts." Aristotle</span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></div>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-28065921617403631572022-09-07T07:24:00.002-07:002022-09-07T07:24:45.463-07:00My student-centred view of academia<p> During my sabbatical year (yes, the one during the pandemic
that didn’t allow me to travel much – no, I am not sour at all about it…), I
had time to reassess who I am professionally and what I want to do in my
career. In the end, I discovered that I am a cheerleader, encourager, and
coach.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Yes!” I jumped off my chair and managed to wake Mr Charlie
and Mr Toumba from their afternoon nap. “That’s who I am! I am an Economics
Research Coach”.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What does this entail, though? Students and students and
more students. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But wait. Is this not part of being an academic anyway? One
of the definitions of the word <i>academic </i>is
a person who teaches at a college or university. The mere definition of the
word academic starts with the idea of teaching. An academic, however, is so
much more than just a channel of transferring knowledge to students. An
academic is one that produces knowledge and prepares those that will produce
more knowledge. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Coming back this year, I have started observing interactions
with students and how it made me feel afterwards. This is how I knew that I had
found my call. But the moment one says they know it all and reach the ultimate mastery
of something, that’s the point in time they lose everything. So, I decided to
keep my radar open and learn from seasoned academics I admire for their
scholarly career and ethos. Here are three examples during ideas sharing and
discussions that showed me their path was successful because they have always
trusted and supported their students. (No names were used here, but they
certainly know who they are <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😉</span> ). <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>Listen to your students. Listen.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A typical meeting between students and academic staff (raise
your hand if it sounds familiar): <o:p></o:p></p>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"></span></p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Student enters the office</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Supervisor turns and asks the student to take a seat</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Supervisor asks “how can I help you today?” [ Red
flag…why is the assumption that the student seeks help and why is the
assumption that the academic CAN help?]</span></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Student starts talking….</div></blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZOliKAz0w2HSLSQH8i6MNBe2-1WCo-2fMRlIV3GK0Cgibx6gWUPzPS8ZvSkMXbRUVPv8A--6IF6dalwoyYXpkjmdtffDTykjFhbnlNoH-rXMgkSK3IGMIrmEFd_r3m6McfHVdvh4c2Oo5kOvOBOu5tcmcH6vv4h3rcHlLoiNoBNCIY5E4huKQcYU5/s600/file.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="600" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZOliKAz0w2HSLSQH8i6MNBe2-1WCo-2fMRlIV3GK0Cgibx6gWUPzPS8ZvSkMXbRUVPv8A--6IF6dalwoyYXpkjmdtffDTykjFhbnlNoH-rXMgkSK3IGMIrmEFd_r3m6McfHVdvh4c2Oo5kOvOBOu5tcmcH6vv4h3rcHlLoiNoBNCIY5E4huKQcYU5/w320-h188/file.png" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>Interruption – Supervisor “let me stop you there
to explain to you….” Blah blah blah…</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>Student stops talking….stops asking…</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>Student leaves the office thinking “All my
thoughts were wrong. Everything I do is wrong. I am wrong”</div></blockquote><p style="text-align: justify;"> <span style="text-align: left;">So that dear colleague of mine advised us to </span><i style="text-align: left;">listen </i><span style="text-align: left;">to the students, not to quickly
respond to them and get them out of our office but to </span><i style="text-align: left;">really</i><span style="text-align: left;"> listen. What stayed in my mind from that talk followed “If
their PhDs include only what the supervisors already know, then what’s the
point? The PhDs are supposed to produce new knowledge, make contributions and
take the field a step further”. That is so true – on the one side, we tell them
to be innovative and on the other side, we tie them to what we do and what we
know.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>I have collected more than 20 PhD theses in my bookcase, now I want to
find them and see what they have done with that knowledge.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This academic (too close to my heart) is retired now and realized
the collection of PhD theses books was gathering dust in the bookcase. The majority
of us would have just thrown it into recycling; best case, we might have taken
a few pictures to remember them. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This academic, a real academic at heart, made an effort to
locate all the graduates and either deliver them or send the books to them. And
that also attaching some photos of their times together. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That reminded me that our students become families; we spend
time with them, we are involved with their lives, and for the supervisors, they
are one of many, but for them, we are the only ones. But each and every one of
them teaches us something – something of academic, cultural (I will not forget
eating Mopani worms!), and personal content, something that has made us who we are
today both as academics and as people. “It does not cost anything to be nice”,
I read the other day…Well, it also does not cost anything to show our kindness,
be human and care for our students. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>My students’ success is my impact<o:p></o:p></i></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“But I want to make an impact with my work!”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“And you do, but in ways you don’t realize and see now”,
this dear mentor responded. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And I stopped there with my mouth open, wondering. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">“Your students are your legacy”. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Such <span lang="EN-US">a profound
thought!</span> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yes, my research can make an impact; my research can break
the barriers of present knowledge; my research may change policies and lives.
Maybe not, but maybe yes! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But think of the multiplier effect of our legacy. Imagine if
the twenty PhD graduates in an academic’s career (on average) can produce another
twenty each, or indeed, they won’t all become academics, so less than 400 new
PhD students, but imagine the impact of their research and their work can make
to our world! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRhKb4c-10vmDmk-WzBdiLZnjMcPR_mpuD7kEQ6iwGqb6caqSN255sG-gdJ2cukLb7a3iVkte7Rlg_SaBf-xgjck9qxpyJkgcAmEuuIuMxxwTm3Txj7ZRzvL5a-z43Dad4SLfnlpntwXi7j65PeefZ9S_NKDjltq5gZYkBHXTQ1Wu0olt2ySx1UFq/s300/download.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRhKb4c-10vmDmk-WzBdiLZnjMcPR_mpuD7kEQ6iwGqb6caqSN255sG-gdJ2cukLb7a3iVkte7Rlg_SaBf-xgjck9qxpyJkgcAmEuuIuMxxwTm3Txj7ZRzvL5a-z43Dad4SLfnlpntwXi7j65PeefZ9S_NKDjltq5gZYkBHXTQ1Wu0olt2ySx1UFq/s1600/download.png" width="300" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Being an academic is not each (which job is?), but for me,
being an academic is much more than a profession. We are responsible for the minds
of the future; this is not to be taken lightly. Research and teaching are important,
but actively and by example, mentoring the youth is invaluable. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We are responsible for preparing the youth well for the
world; prepare them as academics, professionals, critical thinkers, and responsible
human beings. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And as I said before, “treat them well; they might be your
future colleagues…” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0Pretoria, South Africa-25.7478676 28.2292712-54.058101436178845 -6.9269788000000005 2.5623662361788462 63.3855212tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-88721194316450963192022-05-05T02:49:00.004-07:002022-05-05T02:49:48.910-07:00Red riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf: Advice for effective science communication<p> </p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The <a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/science-advice-resource-center/">GYA Science Advice Resource Centre</a> is a platform that provides basic information on Science Advice. This platform is intended to be an initial entry point for Early-Career Researchers in Scientific Advice matter.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">The <a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/activities/science-advice/">Science Advice Working Group of GYA</a> initiated this work by integrating essential literature in the field of Science Advice, Science Policy-making, Science Diplomacy and Science Communication. For each of the fields, the platform provides a number of academic articles "translations". </p><p style="text-align: justify;">My contribution to the database is titled "<a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/3.1.-nafissa-SDC-ROULA.pdf">Red riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf: Advice for effective science communication</a>". Highlights of the summary: </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfCeDGza0868fbsSDqu4h9wmNjw1GDMTeC9zCbDP5qG5uwwuCjYJEnaTi276yLL_CeyJQbp-kAwNjnFXqqAsjASpFjjJ9PCONjeNQdz64MwnOA9iGh0rKm0Y9INSjV4RvVDhDJCvuzDgxyRVFNeKi1DITJxHdvOb2_uEtck0SH5yAJwKoOFRUmXjQr/s783/1eeb5197b9ab01e3e3e46148a002b3cb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="783" data-original-width="564" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfCeDGza0868fbsSDqu4h9wmNjw1GDMTeC9zCbDP5qG5uwwuCjYJEnaTi276yLL_CeyJQbp-kAwNjnFXqqAsjASpFjjJ9PCONjeNQdz64MwnOA9iGh0rKm0Y9INSjV4RvVDhDJCvuzDgxyRVFNeKi1DITJxHdvOb2_uEtck0SH5yAJwKoOFRUmXjQr/w164-h192/1eeb5197b9ab01e3e3e46148a002b3cb.jpg" width="164" /></a></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><i>It should be admitted that cognitive biases usually blamed on policymakers are also found in
the scientific community. </i></li><li><i><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"></blockquote>There are three things to consider to establish an effective communication channel between
scientists and policymaking: selective information to be shared, appropriate timing to act, and engagement with real policy-making is expected. </i></li><li><i>The message is scientists should put themselves in the policymakers’ shoes and instead of
sitting back and waiting for policymakers to change, they should also think about how to adapt their
strategy to approach them. </i></li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The database is a dynamic platform and will be updated frequently but the Science Advice Working Group of GYA. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">An excellent working tool to provide connections between policymakers and scientists. Not to be missed!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-85998876491927951442022-04-11T06:40:00.001-07:002022-04-11T06:40:30.869-07:00Get organised – the yes edition: decluttering the do-list<p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"> “Stop saying yes to everything…Learn to say no….” </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This is
the first piece of advice you will get if you look for ways to lower your load,
find a better balance in your life, and avoid reaching overload and burnout.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Over the last six months or so, I have had the opportunity
to work with a life coach via an academic leadership programme. Having too many
<i>things</i> on my plate and being
constantly busy was the first thing that came out from my self-reflection and how
others see me. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Let me get that right now. I need to stress that these <i>things</i> are related to all the extra
things an academic does and, indeed, not the standard components of one’s job.
Academics also demonstrate academic citizenship by participating in projects, associations,
think tanks, and committees. Also, an academic’s job is flexible, which can be
a benefit and a vice at the same time: it can be used efficiently to prevent
burnout (Friday morning breakfast with friends is possible because I can work
at any other time in the week) but on the other side, it can also be misused (colleagues
that take for granted your time on a weekend assuming that you are available
just because you are around).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I needed to do something about it, and the process eventually
became a full circle of awareness and reflection. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">At first, I also knew inside me that I get excited and
passionate about new initiatives. I joined many times for fear that this specific
one might make an impact or just plainly because it makes sense…sometimes I
used to accept invitations just because I was flattered that they thought of me,
and how could I say no? That had to stop, I thought. I needed to upset someone
by refusing. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Guess who that someone would be….. yes, me! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">For every “yes”, I also forgo another opportunity in the future
due to lack of time. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">At the same time, for every “no”, I would think that “what
if <b>that</b> was an important one?” or “what
if I missed out on having fun?”<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRVOeCLrEYjVzG4voOlYmvHEoUm9Qw7p6UEB6zUuT--OLHbj_4u1yOfHmx0ugm0kj5MYH02FW9XijkBlWsqaifhmRq1fC8XaB6w38DqOyA-eQ_vV08pQ300DBjcC_LhQ4R18LicgNaYkdZxORJ2RpX5043w8dNtSIuUwIls6r08T3HpZMRHxOQ208Q/s1080/XaTDrXaR3YVbn0PiMEPg_Yesses_and_Nos_-_Life_Coach_-_Health_Coach_-_Karen_Vincent_Solutions.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRVOeCLrEYjVzG4voOlYmvHEoUm9Qw7p6UEB6zUuT--OLHbj_4u1yOfHmx0ugm0kj5MYH02FW9XijkBlWsqaifhmRq1fC8XaB6w38DqOyA-eQ_vV08pQ300DBjcC_LhQ4R18LicgNaYkdZxORJ2RpX5043w8dNtSIuUwIls6r08T3HpZMRHxOQ208Q/s320/XaTDrXaR3YVbn0PiMEPg_Yesses_and_Nos_-_Life_Coach_-_Health_Coach_-_Karen_Vincent_Solutions.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">That is where the first step back was made. Wait, is having
a lot of things to keep you busy bad in academic life? I wondered. This is one
of the main reasons I am staying in academia because of the variety of options
in tasks, focus areas and outcomes. I love being involved in new research and groups,
learning new things, and meeting new and exciting people. So, instead of just
aiming at making my list shorter, I changed my focus. I know that all these are
extras, and hence, I will choose to do the extras that energise me to do all
the “have-to’s”. This strategy has two main components: a) what I do with the
ones already on my list and b) how I decide which new things enter the list.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">If an extra becomes a burden or a negative feeling as soon
as I hear about it, then take it out of the list as quickly as possible. Simple
to say, challenging to do, though in practice. Some items on the list could not
just leave because I have lost my passion. I had made commitments and felt that
I needed to complete them before letting go. Evaluating the inactive ones was
also tricky – did they become quiet because I gave little attention, or did they
naturally “calm down”? Once an item on the to-do list has been too slow for the
right reasons, I intentionally withdraw myself to make space for new things <b>and</b> other people to join the specific initiative.
Who knows, it might only need new energy to fly again? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Now the new opportunities that come my way. I had to have a
strategy for the inflow to the list. The straight no’s are the easy ones: these
are the things that I am not particularly interested in or that I don’t think fit
into who I am and who I want to be. But the interesting opportunities? The exciting
ones? A new process invented – I say <i>yes, </i>but
I state my terms and conditions. If these cannot be fulfilled, then back to the
<i>no</i> category. So, what are these
T&Cs? </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b><i>Yes, with….</i></b> That’s my absolute favourite. A combination of
delegation and being involved at the same time. So, I say <i>yes</i>, I will be part of this, but I would like to bring on a friend/colleague/student/mentee
to work together. Double the fun, half the work.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b><i>Yes, when….</i></b> This is useful when many everyday tasks are crammed
into one period, i.e., exam times, submission deadlines etc. I say yes, I will
be part of this when I am done with something else, and because most of the
time, I do not want to share this with the world, I convert it to “yes, I can
be part of it if we can start working in May …or in two months…” for example.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b><i>Yes, and….</i></b> This needs extra practice and mastery. It is the one
where you say yes to an opportunity and use economies of scale and combines it
with another one that you already are involved in. For example, it works well
with events where more than one organisation can be involved. Seeing potential
synergies that will save time and resources is a real talent and skill. </li></ul><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I have not reached maximum efficiency in the whole process,
but I am sure I am getting there. Creating boundaries is not easy when there
are so many opportunities to learn and contribute. Maybe the first step is to make
time boundaries and then proceed with energy/excitement boundaries, whatever
works for each of us. Timing and mood also play a separate role in the
decisions; very rigid rules are meant to be broken, so flexibility is critical.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The common factor in whatever strategy one follows is <b>intentionality</b>:
be conscious about every decision and own all potentially positive and negative
outcomes. Own them because they are your choice, and the system does not just
pull you in. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Be intentional and in control…where you can! Enjoy the ride! <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><i>To Riette</i></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-9400854034890741092021-12-27T03:41:00.001-08:002021-12-27T03:41:54.971-08:00To the friend-that-left and the friend-that-came….<p><span style="font-family: arial;">They say that the pandemic and lockdowns brought to the
surface all the realities, all the facts, all the inequalities and all the
feelings. Families grew stronger in the last two years, but also families
broke. Going through loved ones’ losses and illnesses, hearing about other
people’s losses, and being in constant fear of a phone call that would change
our life has made us all re-evaluate our priorities and the significance of
emotions and relationships. Such “exercise” happened consciously in some cases,
but mostly without us even understanding that the process has been in action…</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;">Social norms and obligations subdued during the last
two years. We didn’t get to see people every day at work, so our relationships
became intentional.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;">Very simply put, who did you long to see when in
lockdown? When could you visit only a few people, which ones did you choose?
Who was there when you just needed to rant about a difficult day? <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;">On top of this, we all expressed opinions and thoughts
that otherwise, maybe we never got the chance to do. What do you think about
science? How do you deal with social
responsibilities? How do you deal with homeschooling and raising your kids
under challenging conditions? By no means these are the things that make or
break a friendship or a relationship, the pandemic in some way or another
exposed layers of people that we have not seen before… It even did that for
ourselves, right? <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;">Some of these aspects said a lot about people’s
ethical values’ systems and life theories, and we wondered if that compatible
with mine? (they did the same, too…). Actions and reactions in times of need
and happiness also revealed where our relationships stand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://www.matthribar.com/hri-blog/homemade-sociology-7-circles-of-friendship" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="786" data-original-width="1100" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGzl2rq0vLf1ZV1W7LWQ1phttlCXUV2srBUH_vC1Xr6FURCGw69FvTnFhllH_ajhJmgsmCKvpft10EqE9l52T9y3BL3ycY83OQ8T2tmBvT4d8aggNB0N_Pxk8YGD1_qCkVxwGnVyxMKM3nMnvEs29N3hOftmNFQQGLlF-r5oNgu-gXEmvMH52X61AT=s320" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;">And almost two years after the first lockdown in our
country, looking back at my circles of relationships, I find people have moved
inwards and outwards, and new people have entered the circles. There are also
these special individuals that have strengthened their previous position in my
circles and my heart – they just reaffirm what I have known for years. <o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;">There are also individuals that “left” the circles
(for good?). <i>Left </i>either consciously
from their side or mine, <i>left </i>because
we just drifted apart or <i>left </i>because
the circumstances changed or <i>left </i>because
they should have never been there.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: arial;">So, dear <i>friend-that-left</i>…
thank you that you made me think twice of my priorities, of what is important
in my life and what I am ready to negotiate and what not. No, the times we
spent together are not wasted; I cherish them in my heart as precious for
making me who I am today. Yes, indeed, without you, I would not be who I am
today. You were there in difficult times before; you were there in happy and
celebratory times before, and I am thankful for that. Dear <i>friend-that-left, </i>only disagreeing with each other did not make us
separate. We had clashed in the past, but now, we differed in topics that we
both consider essential and non-negotiable or maybe the way we disagreed, or
the timing was not right. Dear <i>friend-that-left,
</i>perhaps I was that one that left, I know. Maybe from your point of view, I
was the rigid one, the one that did not step back and compromise. Yes, I admit it;
the pandemic did that to me too. Important issues such as racism, science and
vaccines, gender equality, and so many others are non-negotiables around a
table, and I choose not to keep my mouth closed anymore – because then it is as
if I show agreement in things I’m afraid I have to disagree with. But even for
this, I am grateful to you and the pandemic that assisted me in finding this strength
inside me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0U12WJHNGuRUIQamIdVJFaWmDMwSnLx3qqIkIgyWFqNdt8otAlQWw3Qy0Dj46tpxcp5OboZ5FPlg8ejchcQZHRQkkzOTtRV2NkGCZOFybY3SiB2saT_ddVH1yvD5ri--FKCt8RoQndhNvx0JTFIWHhYJU2yOCeDnlHYYiizdZwj6pe27tIarTU109=s1600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0U12WJHNGuRUIQamIdVJFaWmDMwSnLx3qqIkIgyWFqNdt8otAlQWw3Qy0Dj46tpxcp5OboZ5FPlg8ejchcQZHRQkkzOTtRV2NkGCZOFybY3SiB2saT_ddVH1yvD5ri--FKCt8RoQndhNvx0JTFIWHhYJU2yOCeDnlHYYiizdZwj6pe27tIarTU109=s320" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;">You, dear <i>friend-that-left,
</i>I have the feeling that you are the friend that taught me lessons more than
anyone else… but also, by leaving, they opened the mind space for the <i>friend-that-came. </i>Because the real gems
are right next to us, and we only need to turn our face from chasing the
not-so-special to them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span lang="EN-US">Welcome to the <i>friend-that-came…</i>that
reminded<i> </i>me that “</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwMPFj1v5Kk"><span lang="EL">στα</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">υπογεια</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">ειναι</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">η</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">θεα</span></a><span lang="EN-US">” (the
best view is from the basement) as per the Greek song. I am looking forward to
our journey together.</span> </span><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-18568621052449831872021-10-01T06:54:00.000-07:002021-10-01T06:54:26.741-07:00Sharing our vulnerabilities in action<p> </p><p>School break and the family decided to go on a long road trip adventure and end up at the grandparents by the ocean. The trip had an effect on all of us - two days stuck in the car was quite a challenge. But we (and by that I mean mainly the two younger co-passengers) did much better than expected. </p><p>The tiredness (of the trip or of the last few months?) decided to find its way into our balance during the first two days being at our destination. More specifically, the exchanges between me and the boys became tense and definitely not towards creating a fun family holiday mood. </p><p>As in most such cases, we entered a negative cycle where the more I was controlling them, the more they were rebelling against it... (typical, right?) </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6l7rgPMLihHzJBUop2fZ03Huntteu2Z-BxbonWww0ju5v8hfbcTBv4cQpPObConwumGYPNZiIiJTJNTxg25dowuspci71KSNPykjchW2-fZwfee5ix7CPoImqKcKAz8qtFTZl8eIoeZ4/s1280/WhatsApp+Image+2021-10-01+at+13.50.21.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="916" data-original-width="1280" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6l7rgPMLihHzJBUop2fZ03Huntteu2Z-BxbonWww0ju5v8hfbcTBv4cQpPObConwumGYPNZiIiJTJNTxg25dowuspci71KSNPykjchW2-fZwfee5ix7CPoImqKcKAz8qtFTZl8eIoeZ4/s320/WhatsApp+Image+2021-10-01+at+13.50.21.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p>The last stroke was when an afternoon after some tensions, they happily decided to go to the beach with their father and I decided not to join. My initial argument was that I fight with the kids the whole time, so let me stay away so that they have a good time. All possible fixed mindset assumptions in one thought...</p><p>That was my wake-up call. What am I doing? And after some soul searching, you know those with lots of tears involved...</p><p>I found <b>why</b> I was negative, why <i style="font-weight: bold;">I </i>was disappointed and why <i style="font-weight: bold;">I </i> was deflecting my emotions and feelings to my loved ones. </p><p>For those that know me, I am a huge fan of <a href="https://brenebrown.com/">Brene Brown</a>. Her whole philosophy about vulnerability made always sense in my mind. Sharing feelings, emotions and thoughts is always a challenge for a generation that grew up with "boys don't cry" or "don't cry like a girl" or even "you need to be tough to compete with the boys". Emotions and feelings are usually not validated because our minds aim to evaluate them first: are they right or wrong? Justified or not?</p><p>But everything changes the moment we admit them first to ourselves and then to others. And in my mind, there are two conditions for a successful engagement of our feelings with others: 1) the willingness to dig deep into ourselves and search for meaning while admitting and acknowledging emotions, their depth and magnitude whether positive or negative; and 2) the existence (and maintenance) of an environment of trust; conditions of non-judgment and a safety feeling of appreciation. Only then, sharing positions feelings at the right spot of power for steering future actions. Sometimes, even just listening to our own voice expressing them can be a sobering experience. </p><p>So, when they came back from the beach, my eldest came to lay next to me. He saw the tears and I saw the permission in his eyes to share. And I did...</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7BeyQ9SJ5ZGTWbmTgZhAcA22_2IDfmZHNHjFGYUFnW3EZ2mtfTp9Ht32u4kSWn9mu_zJtX7s-9SU3CdCeYDKRhwPsqa6UWHPRY1KFs2ahwu3kCAdHRPfwDchjsMZmEhPp2Ng_FlwfsV8/s887/242947263_10159212401580211_1193954205921533050_n+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="887" data-original-width="640" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7BeyQ9SJ5ZGTWbmTgZhAcA22_2IDfmZHNHjFGYUFnW3EZ2mtfTp9Ht32u4kSWn9mu_zJtX7s-9SU3CdCeYDKRhwPsqa6UWHPRY1KFs2ahwu3kCAdHRPfwDchjsMZmEhPp2Ng_FlwfsV8/w169-h242/242947263_10159212401580211_1193954205921533050_n+%25282%2529.jpg" width="169" /></a></p><p>And every time he tried to say "no, you are wrong, that is not how it happened" I told him "yes, but now I am sharing how I felt about it, not the facts. I am not trying to establish right and wrong or blame someone. I am only sharing my feelings". </p><p>In the end, a huge hug closed the discussion. Well, a hug and a shared cupcake...</p><p>So what happened after? </p><p>The next few days became better although I don't know if I just broke the negative cycle with my confession or he <i style="font-weight: bold;">really</i> understood me better. But does it matter? </p><p><br /></p><p>Not for me...</p><p>Because the long-term benefits to our relationship are more important, and the example I demonstrated might change the way the boys express themselves in the future. Or even better, maybe the boys can identify the power of their own and others' emotions and how expressing them will not make them look weak but actually wise and strong. Talking about our feelings is not a weakness, it is one more way to connect with our loved ones and strength our relationships, first with ourselves and then with others.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-43625152680009365002021-07-02T07:04:00.001-07:002021-10-01T07:05:38.079-07:00Lessons from being a SAYAS Blog editor... <p> </p><p>June was the last month I was officially part of the Editorial Team of the SAYAS Blog. The Blog has been part of my life for the last few years....<br /><br />Here my thoughts and goodbyes ....(how bad I am in goodbyes though...)</p><p style="text-align: right;">Reposted from the <a href="https://sayasblog.com/2021/06/30/the-more-you-give-the-more-you-receive/">SAYAS blog</a> 30/6/2021</p><p style="text-align: right;"><br /></p><h2 style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The more you give the more you receive</span></h2><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clear: left; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">I was walking with my dog this morning and listening to one of <a href="https://simonsinek.com/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Simon Sinek</a>’s podcasts. Among the amazing things he usually says, he described the most profound thing. When he was on a mission worrying about himself and only him, concerned about his challenges and aspirations only, he was always stressed and tensed and anxiety was taking over. Based on some observations, he decided to change his own narrative and see things from another perspective: every task, action he takes and thought should be for the benefit of the team, or the group, or the family or the society overall. That was when he found a sense of calmness of purpose and meaning in his life…and in a sense, happiness.</p><p style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Hey that’s me” I thought, and almost started chatting with my dog….</p><figure class="wp-block-image size-large libretto-oversized" style="background-color: #faf9f5; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px auto 1em; max-width: 100%;"><a href="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="" class="wp-image-4744" data-attachment-id="4744" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than" data-large-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=720" data-medium-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg" data-orig-size="3840,2160" data-permalink="https://sayasblog.com/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than/" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" src="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=1024" srcset="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=1024 1024w, https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=2048 2048w, https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=150 150w, https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=300 300w, https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/4301215-simon-sinek-quote-if-we-inspire-people-they-will-give-us-more-than.jpg?w=768 768w" style="border-radius: inherit; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></a></figure><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">Going back and looking at my involvement with “<a href="https://sayasblog.com/2019/05/09/be-part-of-the-global-and-national-voice-of-science/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">my acronyms</a>”, I feel that the turning point was when my dear friend Prof <a href="http://www.sayas.org.za/?team=aliza-le-roux" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Aliza Le Roux</a> asked me to take over the Editor’s position at the SAYAS blog. Until then, my fixed mindset directed me to only be involved in things that will beneficial for ME and MY career. I had never thought of helping with the blog before for two main reasons: 1) to my mind (wrongly…), an editor needs to be a language expert, and 2) selfishly (and wrongly again…) what was in it for me? I could contribute with my blogs every now and then, what more?</p><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">But when the offer was made during one of our AGM’s breaks at Fort Hare University, I had a revelation similar to Simon Sinek’s. I went back to the initial reasons I decided to get involved with SAYAS: to work on providing a voice to young scientists and students. Here was my chance to do so and I grabbed it. Admittedly, I had no idea at the time what I was getting into (as with most of the things I decided to take on later on in my journey in SAYAS and GYA), but Aliza’s mentorship and assistance in the beginning made me stronger.</p><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">So, what did I give in my years as a SAYAS Blog editor? I gave time, positive energy and direction – that was all the blogging teams needed from my side. But the multiplier effect was present in this case and I am giving over the Blog to Prof <a href="https://www.sayas.org.za/?team=jennifer-fitchett" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Jennifer Fitchet</a> being a “richer” person (the only thing that could not be retuned multiplied was time…oh well…)</p><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">I worked with three teams of bloggers, and I must say I learned many things from all of them, due to their diversity of backgrounds, visions, cultures and demographics. They all helped me develop soft skills like team, time and project management.</p><p style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have changed as a mentor by:</p><ul style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Firstly, listening to them, even before they put things on “paper”: the things that concern PhD students in South Africa, the challenges they face, the way they think about current societal topics, how they see the future of their science, what they appreciate, and what they expect from their mentors and supervisors and others. They managed to give me a holistic picture of a postgraduate student today, and in doing so they helped me with how I work with the students I supervise.</li></ul><ul style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Secondly, helping them edit their pieces and strengthen their arguments, I realized what things I should change in the way I write blogs and papers.</li></ul><ul style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Thirdly, learning the relevant ways on how to give feedback, many times I used the famous <a href="https://www.innovationbound.com/articles/how-to-give-feedback-without-shooting-ideas-down" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">PPCO approach</a> (Pluses Potentials Concerns Opportunities) without they even realizing I was doing so, and other times, just by asking them questions. </li></ul><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">I have managed to identify and succeed some of my objectives as an academic citizen of the world working with the team of the SAYAS blog:</p><ul style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: outside; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Through the blog, we as SAYAS fulfil our role as an organization that provides a safe platform to young academics and students to express themselves. We did that during the 2016 #feesmustfall protests and the 2020 #blacklivesmatter and #covid19pandemic, as just some of the examples. Indeed, we have given a voice to the youth.</li><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We have started preparing the next generation of scientists to be open-minded and change the way <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">science communication </em>is viewed by older generations of scientists. A generation that will further inspire more, not only through their research but also through their communication skills, and developing into the role models of the future (the multiplier effect in action here again).</li><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We have raised important issues to education and science policymakers – not that they did not know, but formalizing the voice made the difference.</li><li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0.5em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We have created a community and a feeling of belonging for students in South Africa while highlighting the common challenges and happy moments they all face making others feel that they are not alone.</li></ul><div class="wp-block-image" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><figure class="alignleft size-large" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: table; float: left; margin: 0.5em 1em 0.5em 0px;"><a href="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #932817; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="" class="wp-image-4746" data-attachment-id="4746" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="download" data-large-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg?w=286" data-medium-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg?w=286" data-orig-file="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg" data-orig-size="286,176" data-permalink="https://sayasblog.com/download-7/" sizes="(max-width: 286px) 100vw, 286px" src="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg?w=286" srcset="https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg 286w, https://sayoungacademy.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/download.jpg?w=150 150w" style="border-radius: inherit; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></a></figure></div><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">The SAYAS blog does not stop with me of course and it is indeed hard to let go. It is hard and emotional as when a child leaves their parents’ house. It is time for it to take the next step to the future and evolve as it always does. And although it is generally believed that only parents give to their kids, I am the living example that the child has taught me a lot and changed me so much. Would I do it again? Without a doubt, YES!!!</p><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">Certainly, the most important lesson is that it is more important to do things for the greater good, it is more rewarding and the multiplier effect kicks in -maybe not immediately- but in the long run, even the personal benefits are immense.</p><p style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So, goodbye….for now….</p><p class="has-text-align-justify" style="background-color: #faf9f5; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #363431; font-family: "Libre Baskerville", Baskerville, "Book Antiqua", Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 17px; margin: 0px 0px 1.5em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;">And remember, the more you contribute, the more you benefit <img alt="😉" class="emoji" draggable="false" role="img" src="https://s0.wp.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/wpcom-smileys/twemoji/2/svg/1f609.svg" style="background: none; border: none; box-shadow: none; box-sizing: inherit; display: inline; height: 1em; margin: 0px 0.07em; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: -0.1em; width: 1em;" /></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-51820675306893775892021-05-02T00:44:00.003-07:002021-05-02T00:44:34.548-07:00Little blond academic girl in Email-Land - Academics@eaze -April 28, 2021<p> I contributed this piece to the Academics@eaze blog/project. </p><p><br /></p><p><a href="https://academicsateaze.blogspot.com/2021/04/little-blond-academic-girl-in-email-land.html">https://academicsateaze.blogspot.com/2021/04/little-blond-academic-girl-in-email-land.html</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-35857130092131597262021-04-01T05:31:00.002-07:002021-04-01T07:45:05.168-07:00Women in Science: Time for Action (Talk for the Sciences and Development Association 31 March 2021)<p> </p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Scientific
Webinar 31 March 2021<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Women in
Science: An inspiration for Future Generation<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Organised
by the <a href="http://sciencesdevelopment.com" target="_blank">Sciences and Development Association</a> in partnership with <a href="http://www.usms.ac.ma/website/" target="_blank">Sultan MoulaySlimane University</a> and the <a href="https://www.era-learn.eu/network-information/networks/prima/section-2-call-2019-multi-topic/adapting-mediterranean-orchards-2013-science-based-design-of-resilient-fruit-tree-portfolios-for-the-mediterranean-region/superior-school-of-technology-khenifra" target="_blank">Higher School of Technology of Khenifra</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">I have
experienced academia and science as a student, as an assistant, a PhD student
and nowadays, as a staff and a supervisor. I have worked with many male and female researchers and scientists particularly in the African continent but also
beyond through my work in the <a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/activities/women-in-science/" target="_blank">Global Young Academy Women in Science WorkingGroup. </a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN7h2xWfSKp5qwjhcfp23IIeIen_Xh7MrwGe-oqhQ8-81rUKE7qyQ6hbjomgAaeYH1mSQumHB6JqQe2EmDjVxQHTiFrYwwJOF4rlKfMkbnu3Q41KkiRUGuIcjHJsRTH5ijZ-m8NdYEB80/s396/past+present+future.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="296" data-original-width="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN7h2xWfSKp5qwjhcfp23IIeIen_Xh7MrwGe-oqhQ8-81rUKE7qyQ6hbjomgAaeYH1mSQumHB6JqQe2EmDjVxQHTiFrYwwJOF4rlKfMkbnu3Q41KkiRUGuIcjHJsRTH5ijZ-m8NdYEB80/s320/past+present+future.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">In this
graph, I am considering the “Present” as the Covid era. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">SO what
happened in the past? What were the conditions? </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Science was
not a career option for young girls in the past…and that is not decades ago, it
the very recent past, almost present. Everything started from girls never
playing with science “toys” and dolls never being anything to do with science. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Recently, I
was looking at a toy brochure of a well-known toy store. The colour coding of
the pages were quite obvious on to which toys are for boys and which for girls
(but let me not start with colours for boys and colours for girls here….). Coding
and computer games were classified after the boys' categories. A couple of
years back, I was almost shocked looking for a gift for a friend’s girl when I
found the Barbie Scientist – “Halleluiah” I thought – only to realise that the
specific one’s body type was completely different to ALL the other ones on the
shelves and the accessories not very appealing to the little girls.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">So, to
start with…. The science and academic profession has not become appealing to
young girls… </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">And to top
that the challenges and opportunities of women in science worldwide are common
and have become known recently – making the profession not a TOP one for young
women, right?</span></p>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"></p><ul><li><a name="_Hlk68081553" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Salary and
opportunity inequities</span></a></li><li><a name="_Hlk68081592" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Work space
challenges – Gender harassment – hostile work environment</span></a></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Choice
between family and career</span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Society
that wants women to stay at home</span></li><li><a name="_Hlk68081617" style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Lack of
rolemodels and mentors</span></a></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Work
related stress and work life imbalance</span><span style="background-color: transparent; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></li></ul><p></p></blockquote></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">These are problems that women in most professions have been facing for years. But a study by <a href="https://storage.googleapis.com/plos-corpus-prod/10.1371/journal.pone.0238635/1/pone.0238635.pdf?X-Goog-Algorithm=GOOG4-RSA-SHA256&X-Goog-Credential=wombat-sa%40plos-prod.iam.gserviceaccount.com%2F20210401%2Fauto%2Fstorage%2Fgoog4_request&X-Goog-Date=20210401T121528Z&X-Goog-Expires=3600&X-Goog-SignedHeaders=host&X-Goog-Signature=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" target="_blank">Fathima et al. (2020)</a> that looked at a group of female scientists (mainly in
South-East Asia) reported that only 40% of female academics are happy with the way their career has progressed until now. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; text-indent: -24px;">Now if you think at all of the things I mentioned, they all have one thing in common: someone else has done something wrong. The system is wrong, the world is wrong. And we felt that there was nothing we could do for all these years. We, as women in academia and science, felt isolated. Our problems were not significant or so we thought. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">The question that might arise is why then have we joined academia? Why have we done so? and even more logically, why have we stayed in academia and sciences? For me, it is the</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> excitement of new discoveries with our research and the impact we can make on
society; it is t</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">he feeling
of passing knowledge to new generations; </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">the
light in students eyes when they understand something I explain to them. I might have decided that I will not be the next Nobel prize winner in Economics but maybe the next one might be in one of my classrooms; I might inspire someone to make a difference and a societal impact - the multiplier effect is real and immense. </span></p>
<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: justify;">But back to the <i>Past-Present-Future</i> graph, has something
changed with the pandemic?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCt2JVNdFs4hYDVWoHRfnd5MNySNc8T_Y5HDYtHDfkWh8Cfdd6_0GHYasxYUvEHHXPxyf0V2yvf8ARXxe5o49JBkWFwKpwDIIJgbZ3Kvx7LaMp2VzkC82RvNKsXQ1KOOnvzxssXhksY6Q/s315/magnifying.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="160" data-original-width="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCt2JVNdFs4hYDVWoHRfnd5MNySNc8T_Y5HDYtHDfkWh8Cfdd6_0GHYasxYUvEHHXPxyf0V2yvf8ARXxe5o49JBkWFwKpwDIIJgbZ3Kvx7LaMp2VzkC82RvNKsXQ1KOOnvzxssXhksY6Q/s0/magnifying.jpg" /></a></div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div><br /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: left;">We tend to
see that magnifying glass looking towards the virus; what I am trying to
propose today is that the Covid-19 IS a magnifying glass that brought out
problems such as inequalities in education, poverty and others to the forefront
and made them more obvious. The same happened with the working from home and
homeschooling in 2020.</span></p></div></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Studies
such as the ones by <a href="https://www.nber.org/papers/w28360#:~:text=COVID%2D19%20Disruptions%20Disproportionately%20Affect%20Female%20Academics,-Tatyana%20Deryugina%2C%20Olga&text=Both%20men%20and%20women%20report,larger%20increases%20than%20men%20did." target="_blank">Deryugina et al (2020)</a> found that "female academics,
particularly mothers, report a disproportionate reduction in time dedicated to
research relative to what comparable men and women without children experience.
Both men and women reported substantial increases in childcare and housework
burdens, but women experienced significantly larger increases than men did". <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Was it not
expected? Of course, not. In the last few months, a plethora of studies, blogs,
reports and others point out the extra pressure on women academics that came on
the surface. The question that I asked myself many times during 2020 was if
these pressures were because of the institutions or because of the family
structures and expectations. In simple words, did our employers change or
staying back home, we really observed the lack of support by our partners and
other structures? <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">But what is
the big change that I feel from my side is happening in a post-covid era or if
you may, with the next generation of female scientists and academics?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">I think our
generation found a voice – we organised ourselves – we made an effort to get
together, to realise that we are not alone, to see that the challenges are
common but also the aspirations are common, the desires for the future are
common, the dreaming is common. We have made sure that there are organisations
that focus on Women in Science. There are role models such as <a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/anada/" target="_blank">Prof Amal Amin</a> for
example and many others that young girls and women can look up to. We have
opened our mouths and vocalised the problems we have and the inequalities we
have endured. We have provided evidence of how these have impacted the scientific
community overall and not only us, as women. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><i>The future
now is HERE. </i><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">We need
solutions. We need proposals to make a change. And by we, I mean us in personal
perspective and our institutions and our working environments. Remember the
external vs internal locus of control???</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Proposed
policies (as per </span><a href="https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/7/9/eabg9310" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;" target="_blank">Reese et al. 2020</a><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Support WiS
when they start families when in training or beginning of their career<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Provide
equal pay and equitable start-up funds<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Support
team science in academia and synergistic research<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Maintain
options for virtual seminars and conferences (Keep the positives from the
pandemic)<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Rethink
childcare and childhood education<o:p></o:p></span></li><li><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Continuous
communication channel with emerging researchers</span></li></ul><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">And to
close with, personal advice on how I cope in the academic arena and the advice
I give to all young and emerging scientists.</span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Take some
time NOW already and think or write down why you are where you are. What your
purpose is and your excitement for being a scientist and researcher. Do some
reflection. It won’t be time wasted, it is time invested. When challenging
times come (they will come), go back and re-read it, remind yourself your
ultimate purpose. That purpose can be readjusted through the years of course. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Have your
eyes and ears open for the invisible mentors in your life. Lessons and
knowledge can be sourced from everywhere. Don’t <i>assign </i>one mentor in your life and refuse to listen to anyone else.
Be open. That said, be selective of the people surrounding you. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Stop
pursuing the ultimate balance between personal life and work. Let me tell you a
secret, nobody achieves it fully that is why all of us discuss it the whole
time. We get stressed because we think we can achieve it. There are times,
days, weeks, periods in my life that family is a priority and work have to wait
and vice versa and that is fine. It is a see-saw – enjoy it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Don’t allow
anyone to give you an opportunity BECAUSE you are a woman. Be proud of your
work. We are scientists and it just happened that we are women, as one of my
mentors have said. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Be vocal
but respectful about your conditions. Long are the times that respect means
being quite or that we should be thankful that we even have a job. Involve
yourself in associations and organisation and speak with other women in
academia. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Make sure
you have an amazing support system and also BE the support system to others.
Accept the fact that we are not super women (yes yes I know that we are, but
lets assume for a second that we are not) and ask for help – it is not a sign
of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Let’s normalise it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Don’t feel
guilty about being a mother or if you choose NOT being a mother. It is <i>your</i> choice. I chose to be a mother. In
a recent book published by GYA on Motherhood in Science my chapter dealt with
guilt in my journey as a mother. I waste energy and time in feeling guilty when
I am with my kids and when I am not. So, do as I say and not as I do in that
topic. Our kids should see that they have the choice to be and do whatever they
want when they become adults and the only way to do that is to see US doing so.
<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"> </span></p></blockquote>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Be you and
I know it is a cliché but be the change you want to see in the world. We have
raised our voices now; we have made our challenges known, lets make the
difference now.</span></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0Pretoria, South Africa-25.7478676 28.2292712-54.058101436178845 -6.9269788000000005 2.5623662361788462 63.3855212tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-58705081830143160182021-03-24T03:21:00.004-07:002021-03-24T03:21:57.326-07:00To apologize or not to apologize? And if so, when?<p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">As kids,
our parents, elders, teachers, religious leaders and other adults taught us and
many times pushed us to apologize for just ending a fight. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am just
wondering though (me wondering? What a surprise!) if these methods had
polarized our generation into two types of individuals: the ones that say I am
sorry quickly just to end the discussion without properly understanding its
meaning and the ones on the other side of the pendulum that resist apologizing
for no reason (a fact that sometimes translates in avoidance of accepting their
responsibilities). <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">When I was
in high school, I must admit I was not an easy person. I was going through
various phases in my mind and I was getting stuck. In one of those, I refused
to say “I am sorry”, not even for stepping on someone’s foot. The reasoning
behind it was “I am sorry” means “I will try not to do it again” so if I cannot
promise to do so I will not say it. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzXW_UJx6Q2z-PPe9sRYUwGqeAgignXV_YmVsOGeGj-MCf70t6xq-KN8FSsGVk_YRv9YghupDwKzgaSOwiFtA0dpIMHsc59MOZn7yxNV0Iu81L3-fbospLImotw4hQlg6jD-1PN6Iu-kI/s2048/20210324_121857.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzXW_UJx6Q2z-PPe9sRYUwGqeAgignXV_YmVsOGeGj-MCf70t6xq-KN8FSsGVk_YRv9YghupDwKzgaSOwiFtA0dpIMHsc59MOZn7yxNV0Iu81L3-fbospLImotw4hQlg6jD-1PN6Iu-kI/w240-h320/20210324_121857.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So, what is
my problem with people that apologize quickly? For me, there are two issues there:
one has to do with their relationship with others and one with themselves. Firstly,
apologizing prematurely does not allow the discussion (fight?) to continue and
run its course. Unfinished and unresolved issues will linger underneath and
might surface at unexpected times. Saying sorry prematurely and for no reason
allows people not to take their responsibilities. Then for themselves, it
creates a mentality of carrying the earth on their back, that they are responsible
for everything. In the beginning, the act might feel heroic and world-saving,
but as time passes such behaviour converts into self-victimization. Behaviour that
leads to stress into how to stop the next disagreement and save the next fight.
But who tells us that the disagreement needs to end before it runs its course
and before all parties express their opinions and sides? And why not “fighting”
for your side to at least be heard before saying sorry to avoid the discussion?
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Now the
ones that don’t apologize? The ones that do not take responsibility for their actions,
don’t reflect on what role they have played in the argument and finally, do not
learn from their mistakes so much so that they will even commit to making an
effort to avoid the same mistake again. Just to be clear here. I am referring
to people that do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> apologize when
they think they are wrong. That has nothing to do with the timing of the
apology. And I can almost hear somebody (or a few somebodies in my ears) “But
what if I am never wrong?”. Well, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that </i>then
is a much bigger reason for self-reflection and look deep inside us. I fail to
believe that we can be right in all the arguments and disagreements I have ever
had in our lives. Even in the ones that I believe that fundamentally and in principle
I was right, there were issues in the way I expressed myself and explained my
side. Oops, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that </i>is another important
point of the apology. In an argument and disagreement, there is not supposed to
be an outcome with a winner and loser. To me, the ultimate outcome is when
after a heated disagreement the two (or more) parties come later together and
admit their own mistakes by discussing what they could have done differently and
move on and forward from there. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">And
sometimes in some arguments, as my pappous (grandpa) used to say “we agree that we
disagree” and pappou, if I may add…If and when we have more information and
data, we can come back together and discuss it again. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So, finally,
when should we apologize??<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div style="text-align: justify;">When we
mean it and when we feel it…</div><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><div style="text-align: justify;">When we have thought of it and we are conscious about it…</div><div style="text-align: justify;">When we are committed to making an effort to avoid doing the same mistake again…</div><div style="text-align: justify;">When we do so to enable the discussion and learn from each other but not cover
things and avoid conflict…</div><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">PS. Special
thanks to Lucca and Dimitri for inspiring me and teaching me the value of an
apology. <o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><p></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-80303558608355594522021-01-10T07:25:00.010-08:002021-01-10T22:30:46.525-08:00Yiayia Roula - always by my side<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">If anybody asked me until now, how I would describe my Yiayia
Roula, I would respond “katsarida” (cockroach). To which, everyone looked
disgusted and with a question mark on their face. The explanation is simple: I
read somewhere that in a global nuclear disaster the only creatures that would
survive would be the cockroaches…and my Yiayia! It was a joke clearly with a
dose of pride about the strength and calibre of this woman.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Trust her, thus, to survive 2020; one of the most difficult
years of modern humankind and say goodbye to us the third day of the new year. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My relationship with her was in a way separated in three
periods: my childhood years up to my parents’ separation when I was 5 years
old, the years that I was at school and she was in South Africa, and the last
14 years that we have both been in South Africa. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Or in other words: Roula and little Roulitsa; Roula without
Roula; and Roula and Roula periods.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roula and little
Roulitsa</i></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">She was my caregiver and although as a little one I don’t
remember much of her, I remember a presence and a hug… and I remember her
manicures (funny thing what one recalls from our childhood memories – and also
why did I decide for the first time in my life to shape my own nails in that
same almond shape only a few days ago?)<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLAZTTFIVjYOWqPIY1pmNUDJjHViQOni41JX78oehY27a6Z-LMdh8quXy5ZnFcs5LW8oEB2kphY5UIUHomnal_Hw2zRfH3cDMXEEYC6teABkokPGbVEHX0YxuSv5FeDd9dRMxD4ep5RM/s1080/20210103_150419.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="772" data-original-width="1080" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLAZTTFIVjYOWqPIY1pmNUDJjHViQOni41JX78oehY27a6Z-LMdh8quXy5ZnFcs5LW8oEB2kphY5UIUHomnal_Hw2zRfH3cDMXEEYC6teABkokPGbVEHX0YxuSv5FeDd9dRMxD4ep5RM/w200-h143/20210103_150419.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb08ZKoZyYNqjQKMCyIOluBancCep62_4tBj-zxfms3xf12tYEROrTP0hFsuQGx4nEZ-Fs7WxjtwA3p0Siy9hLRqdo5N8KGT352re2U_69kyprcDLWw1fEWYzKb9DktllgEkWdqrBeDmM/s908/20210103_150430.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="669" data-original-width="908" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb08ZKoZyYNqjQKMCyIOluBancCep62_4tBj-zxfms3xf12tYEROrTP0hFsuQGx4nEZ-Fs7WxjtwA3p0Siy9hLRqdo5N8KGT352re2U_69kyprcDLWw1fEWYzKb9DktllgEkWdqrBeDmM/w200-h147/20210103_150430.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBu4Q89xG4KZCXS71Q2rsQchymPLG7xWGqnMheEDvTFF9fYBje7awQFPf86Z67iLmWfl9IhqTGuLTzSNRjfuYLu8kJ0oQxCGDqQnR_BHJo8UO29CrRf6GyEVLo-ZqUPB4Qm0OA609K8Q/s2048/20210107_072450.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1681" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOBu4Q89xG4KZCXS71Q2rsQchymPLG7xWGqnMheEDvTFF9fYBje7awQFPf86Z67iLmWfl9IhqTGuLTzSNRjfuYLu8kJ0oQxCGDqQnR_BHJo8UO29CrRf6GyEVLo-ZqUPB4Qm0OA609K8Q/w164-h200/20210107_072450.jpg" width="164" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj8zS8GiKDnCAOJDnfhECJBJ-ilbeDtWS8aHlZWtyhWOCmapeeY5hSiEO49Sab2i8rKBltoLQ6Pc8iY7SPL0WU1wECWUSH5CQy3CAZIRlakfL8-gcLSJIsBFnUvpsXQnJjqsvpYobXy3Y/s2048/20210107_072505.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1795" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj8zS8GiKDnCAOJDnfhECJBJ-ilbeDtWS8aHlZWtyhWOCmapeeY5hSiEO49Sab2i8rKBltoLQ6Pc8iY7SPL0WU1wECWUSH5CQy3CAZIRlakfL8-gcLSJIsBFnUvpsXQnJjqsvpYobXy3Y/w175-h200/20210107_072505.jpg" width="175" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzL7zEddBxiPdbvArfZ8JwZxZthc7skodfdNL3RFKFJ2oLXGcOYAPwjm59CGbrAEKpCgToUObrXp7k_tS2gsYOV68s7Hmo4U8tXPaF-WZyH8mrQMKUosw3yVaifyCXDSexYVneKl_XoE/s2048/20210107_072518.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1811" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzL7zEddBxiPdbvArfZ8JwZxZthc7skodfdNL3RFKFJ2oLXGcOYAPwjm59CGbrAEKpCgToUObrXp7k_tS2gsYOV68s7Hmo4U8tXPaF-WZyH8mrQMKUosw3yVaifyCXDSexYVneKl_XoE/w177-h200/20210107_072518.jpg" width="177" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC99JzV_PjImvv3ZLHDn5p24Flayam9MBuq-QfV4Qs0ty8pe3hZTPXobtjmefVHkfBcwM8oJffRvHWIBBtvw3DXpNagQOxvPf50A4b1olPGS3i4ypYkXxL8oo9jF4XA1h9DHcBS7sIkTc/s1060/Screenshot_20210107-074814_Facebook.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1060" data-original-width="788" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC99JzV_PjImvv3ZLHDn5p24Flayam9MBuq-QfV4Qs0ty8pe3hZTPXobtjmefVHkfBcwM8oJffRvHWIBBtvw3DXpNagQOxvPf50A4b1olPGS3i4ypYkXxL8oo9jF4XA1h9DHcBS7sIkTc/w149-h200/Screenshot_20210107-074814_Facebook.jpg" width="149" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal">I look at the pictures of the two of us when I was a baby
and I smile. In most of them, she doesn’t stand still. She is feeding me, or
changing me or explaining something to me. A true representation of who she
was: a person that takes care of others, <i>especially¸
</i>the kids of the family!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roula without Roula</i></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">And the presence was not there anymore. And then with all the
family around me, to be completely honest, I never really thought about it. It
was a given for me, I didn’t know otherwise. The same period more or less that
she left, my parents got separated, I changed schools, we moved to a new house
and lets not forget a baby sister. Too many changes in life for a 6 year old to
process. I attributed most of the anxiety of that period [in therapy many years
later] to Yiayia leaving. It was easier after all to channel it to her because
she wasn’t around. Maybe that was another mechanism I developed through the
years to cope with my parents’ separation. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She wasn’t there to take me to school or come to my
concerts. She didn’t know which food I liked and which not. She didn’t know if
I did any sports and when I lost my front teeth. She didn’t know who was my
first boyfriend and when I had a fight with my friends. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And mind you; during those times, communication and keeping
contact was more challenging than now. My parents have a real relationship with
their grandkids nowadays – technology made it easier for them. She came to
visit for holidays a few times in this period. I have images in my mind of her
running behind us and the cousins to finish our food at the village or cooking
at my dad’s apartment or coming to have coffee with my mum and us at home. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roula and Roula</i></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">And we reach the period that little Roulitsa finished school
and undergraduate studies and came to join Yiayia Roula and the family in South
Africa. And it was almost as if everything we haven’t lived together, we were
together in pursuit of making more memories. Our rooms happened to be next to
each other. I could hear her snoring at night and many nights we were going
upstairs together to sleep.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i>,
present in all the important and everyday moments of my life thereafter. Even
after I moved to my own house to start my own family.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when I arrived with my dad to be
the hug in this challenging time of adjustment.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when I was coming back from class with
the same big hug to wait for me.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when I was studying until late,
pretending to watch TV while her eyes were closing “ante kale I am not
sleeping” (Do you remember, theia?)</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when
after a small procedure on my toe, she offered to make loukoumathes (little doughnuts)…and from there onwards, whenever the family wanted loukoumathes, we
would say my foot is in pain…and she would giggle and still go and make, no
matter the time: the more she could feed us, the happier she was.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when
I danced in my first (and only) ballroom show, a tango, with Schalk. Her smile
at the end was the biggest gift.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhljbiGVdcnNi5ciHril7NccfzINbbxMbktkbS9NyYCv-ImHmfTEocFsdb5cXw71UG9bjAZsF82Hdw-uOM5TmliUenRhqhE66EMPQds5saVCkbVvoVT7lxbJXqNs5HYQ2DzLaLLARmOjw4/s811/20210103_150948.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="695" data-original-width="811" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhljbiGVdcnNi5ciHril7NccfzINbbxMbktkbS9NyYCv-ImHmfTEocFsdb5cXw71UG9bjAZsF82Hdw-uOM5TmliUenRhqhE66EMPQds5saVCkbVvoVT7lxbJXqNs5HYQ2DzLaLLARmOjw4/w200-h171/20210103_150948.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXV16tYe0FRVbUamF5roj-xOxbC_ueyEmU405d67llyZf_Jeb6luRLX-o3Fn0oC06Jd7DEs8ujwjkjMeFLdlB6OM7aRyXyYWHioBGFb5p8ScjKVAC6LEO1oMKUKCDluCIuaGNP9DkiDo/s843/20210103_150959.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="843" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXV16tYe0FRVbUamF5roj-xOxbC_ueyEmU405d67llyZf_Jeb6luRLX-o3Fn0oC06Jd7DEs8ujwjkjMeFLdlB6OM7aRyXyYWHioBGFb5p8ScjKVAC6LEO1oMKUKCDluCIuaGNP9DkiDo/w200-h188/20210103_150959.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when
I was struggling to make my first bellydance costume – she helped me with everything – such a talent with fabrics and clothes she had!\</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> the
evening I kissed Schalk (well not at the exact moment). The two of us, me and her, were watching a rugby game of Blue Bulls, drinking a savannah each (the
cousins had friends over). And when I told her I will go out for a bit, she had
that naughty smile and said «<span lang="EL">καλα</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">να</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">περασεις</span>» - “enjoy” …as if she knew.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">She was <i>there</i> when Schalk came at home for the
first time and met the family (</span>«<span lang="EL">μα</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">τι</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">μαλλιας</span>? <span lang="EL">Που</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">τον</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">βρηκε</span>?» ...”oh that one with the
long hair? Where did she find him?”</p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> when
Schalk started visiting more often for dinners and coffees; and she wanted to feed him more and more [I will never forget the pinch on my thigh when Schalk
felt comfortable enough to go and make his own coffee «<span lang="EL">που</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">τον</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">αφηνεις</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">καλε</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">τον</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">ανθρωπο</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">καλε</span>? <span lang="EL">Που</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">ξερει</span>? <span lang="EL">Σηκω</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">να</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">του</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">κανεις</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL">καφε</span>» .... “where
do you leave the guy alone? How does he know? Get up to make coffee”.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJB45RJaWVxivgbaV3lvsnxdtQ_6XL2adCStJGmQ7mtfY_leIvXLKYPOfdthY39BRA-0WBtRG2ccwMI5O3Bv-aGvLhvjQCuD7jDAa0QR3JQEUZx-Y3TeuCUl3FfCqinrQaC1NQy8wvaTQ/s854/20210103_150843.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="854" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJB45RJaWVxivgbaV3lvsnxdtQ_6XL2adCStJGmQ7mtfY_leIvXLKYPOfdthY39BRA-0WBtRG2ccwMI5O3Bv-aGvLhvjQCuD7jDAa0QR3JQEUZx-Y3TeuCUl3FfCqinrQaC1NQy8wvaTQ/w200-h174/20210103_150843.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i> when I bought my first car. I
drove back home and she was the first one that I took on a ride (oh that smile
she had).<p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i> when
I packed my things to move with Schalk. I remember I had asked some friends to
come with me, as I knew she would get emotional…and she did. Crying because «<span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">εγω</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">ηθελα</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">να</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">φυγει</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">νυφουλα</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">απο</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">εδω</span>» - “I was hoping she will leave
this house as a bride”.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i> at
my Masters and PhD graduations – strong and with the biggest smile. She was there to
hold me in her arms and she needn’t say much – she just looked me in the eyes
and I knew.<o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKaBNTrY1PFAYalmgv-dXoT02dS8T0SplzgdaAqEVfG7uT8s4PSCl0Um2rweErjrvVNtsi1vpSJ_sBDkaPBFSbejK18s_E6NwYwclvzOwOjJyNG1gkYihbbK67aFDB3xwzWzuwCkJoCI/s959/20210103_150801.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="779" data-original-width="959" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKaBNTrY1PFAYalmgv-dXoT02dS8T0SplzgdaAqEVfG7uT8s4PSCl0Um2rweErjrvVNtsi1vpSJ_sBDkaPBFSbejK18s_E6NwYwclvzOwOjJyNG1gkYihbbK67aFDB3xwzWzuwCkJoCI/w200-h163/20210103_150801.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTBeplFgQPaGSQMtcNXKr-4xVYar9wfxGLJoJwv896xHB_PtZOHApL-ALLA6-n2STDUWCWlI1eIDtk91mJ3BwLQFEfVYQ5h6wYbmZEq5edNMyGeo9SORlSmGTOmhBU3MX429smdhAyrM/s810/20210103_150536.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="705" data-original-width="810" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTBeplFgQPaGSQMtcNXKr-4xVYar9wfxGLJoJwv896xHB_PtZOHApL-ALLA6-n2STDUWCWlI1eIDtk91mJ3BwLQFEfVYQ5h6wYbmZEq5edNMyGeo9SORlSmGTOmhBU3MX429smdhAyrM/w191-h165/20210103_150536.jpg" width="191" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i> at
my pre-wedding party and we danced the night away and she looked so happy to
have all her kids and grandkids around her. Oh and sometimes, we don’t realise
the moment when it happens but how blessed to have had her there with me.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP_1W0oSwgh2U7QIuqfmHzC-dAEVUCAvGuYQk5mz82DJmX_nH3rT8ZtrudtKwU7L4-pHzVTE2VnJzfXJnRj8whMPoiOVhS8XUHG0Jkf3UIdv3SVDXMor7IBF823bl3h-EpbjJHAkHxUw/s1381/Screenshot_20210107-054143_Gallery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1381" data-original-width="1032" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidP_1W0oSwgh2U7QIuqfmHzC-dAEVUCAvGuYQk5mz82DJmX_nH3rT8ZtrudtKwU7L4-pHzVTE2VnJzfXJnRj8whMPoiOVhS8XUHG0Jkf3UIdv3SVDXMor7IBF823bl3h-EpbjJHAkHxUw/w149-h200/Screenshot_20210107-054143_Gallery.jpg" width="149" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3xbDWfzzY4_LgN5vppNIYU9q92ZaIq_9LAVv1KczMySzL9wq6U07NqQcCWNz8VCRyI0_Ij9Z5wDGNdnxAhNWsgVp4VzDetyXZRdd9gxMF3Lj69bC5rI0EZtKK0H1TpxRpWNsrTftlL4/s1383/Screenshot_20210107-054155_Gallery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1383" data-original-width="1079" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3xbDWfzzY4_LgN5vppNIYU9q92ZaIq_9LAVv1KczMySzL9wq6U07NqQcCWNz8VCRyI0_Ij9Z5wDGNdnxAhNWsgVp4VzDetyXZRdd9gxMF3Lj69bC5rI0EZtKK0H1TpxRpWNsrTftlL4/w156-h200/Screenshot_20210107-054155_Gallery.jpg" width="156" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">She was <i>there</i> at
my wedding, being so emotional especially when I was getting dressed and ready
in <b>her</b> room. She finally saw I was
coming out of the house as a bride. The moment when she gave me her present was
one of the moments I will remember for the rest of my life. And again, we
didn’t say much – we needn’t say much. Just the eyes and a hug.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWV3rjQJrVEUMdVMMwd1-hMSi1wWm9Jso1CAT7DuBC6rPD9ixPUSq9LU0SW7S1vrmVQJ5WSWDyfoCzEx3Reeiyamdtds8kQ0q7sVtz7o43pSSgQVITFtMCvDjXkPh05Za_lI0fwfzt-kw/s903/20210103_150553.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="672" data-original-width="903" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWV3rjQJrVEUMdVMMwd1-hMSi1wWm9Jso1CAT7DuBC6rPD9ixPUSq9LU0SW7S1vrmVQJ5WSWDyfoCzEx3Reeiyamdtds8kQ0q7sVtz7o43pSSgQVITFtMCvDjXkPh05Za_lI0fwfzt-kw/w165-h142/20210103_150553.jpg" width="165" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlILWmX4svR5XcY908JOVruvKlK2IqA0RvG0RPU06UOm3cpHHio_XVTHjtRGzsYzKAF5xo1KDivdNzNYzX4O74F1bP92Lj2Xv61CzeQOGpnusKSVA8FtbBl-spdhwXJh0EGAtBGo15DJI/s807/20210103_150607.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="807" data-original-width="797" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlILWmX4svR5XcY908JOVruvKlK2IqA0RvG0RPU06UOm3cpHHio_XVTHjtRGzsYzKAF5xo1KDivdNzNYzX4O74F1bP92Lj2Xv61CzeQOGpnusKSVA8FtbBl-spdhwXJh0EGAtBGo15DJI/w127-h142/20210103_150607.jpg" width="127" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRzveqyuAWHyGJeBY2coG1jjqrWor0L8tSrpiJF-K57_0EXkhuwjpifXXa3zpA7QWEpyaF5NtvwKxuS_w-UOtgp7j9EZtYN0tQyjkDZ7T7CieM9uSRMaJJBAYlm0fUxkyStE-hF_ZeS3Y/s899/20210103_150620.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="754" data-original-width="899" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRzveqyuAWHyGJeBY2coG1jjqrWor0L8tSrpiJF-K57_0EXkhuwjpifXXa3zpA7QWEpyaF5NtvwKxuS_w-UOtgp7j9EZtYN0tQyjkDZ7T7CieM9uSRMaJJBAYlm0fUxkyStE-hF_ZeS3Y/w179-h142/20210103_150620.jpg" width="179" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote><b><i>Looking back now, I realise <o:p></o:p>she was there</i></b><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> even when she
wasn’t.</span></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>And as I am writing now, I realise that there was another
period in my life with my Yiayia:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roula and Roulakia</i></h3><h3 style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtAQRImOmebvyl_QzDZndkZy2qAJBDrGWedTHaaHBVjH85T4UB6XPloWu2gn-WTKoMDogizXoAS2gFu26lwtx8iCQClt373X9nyxZuv52QgeoNkB2bpuHtDOU9YXhzaOo-XvSW1pKJQoc/s1048/20210103_152435.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="776" data-original-width="1048" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtAQRImOmebvyl_QzDZndkZy2qAJBDrGWedTHaaHBVjH85T4UB6XPloWu2gn-WTKoMDogizXoAS2gFu26lwtx8iCQClt373X9nyxZuv52QgeoNkB2bpuHtDOU9YXhzaOo-XvSW1pKJQoc/w179-h157/20210103_152435.jpg" width="179" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNSNV82nTcZ8N9pPSP6NEw6Di-YwQKMOkX93x94H-_OAILRNXRH8-irO_IQorkzfQ94Kr2cgn-rAsWUCKjBmOKhOES35nerIgX-Vq214kfgWP2mTBB4QJl-HJz70h-Kvqel1LqxgjKtE/s1079/Screenshot_20210107-053621_Gallery.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="812" data-original-width="1079" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNSNV82nTcZ8N9pPSP6NEw6Di-YwQKMOkX93x94H-_OAILRNXRH8-irO_IQorkzfQ94Kr2cgn-rAsWUCKjBmOKhOES35nerIgX-Vq214kfgWP2mTBB4QJl-HJz70h-Kvqel1LqxgjKtE/w179-h158/Screenshot_20210107-053621_Gallery.jpg" width="179" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbIg-Ui8dxkT762bLJvA5juD9in2cAHCGa2Ng18OmnnoQihFFzSLyZbcbER9x_28Q5mnUL7lb7fWnAzdRYl0_9kaBA-SFB3zB6gbj0yRG7DANiGZCbDRsUV7TaUJR-NtCBGQl1iN3qd5A/s451/yiayia.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="330" data-original-width="451" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbIg-Ui8dxkT762bLJvA5juD9in2cAHCGa2Ng18OmnnoQihFFzSLyZbcbER9x_28Q5mnUL7lb7fWnAzdRYl0_9kaBA-SFB3zB6gbj0yRG7DANiGZCbDRsUV7TaUJR-NtCBGQl1iN3qd5A/w187-h155/yiayia.jpg" width="187" /></a></h3><p class="MsoNormal">It is not easy to explain and one only grasps it after it
passes but it is such a blessing to sit next to your Yiayia with your belly
huge almost ready to pop and her touching it even if you talk about random
things. I haven’t processed the power of the moment until now, the continuation
of history in that moment.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The name of the first Roula-ki is almost a history of names
of the male’s in Yiayia’s life: Dimitrios was her father and her husband and
Theodoros her son and now her first great-grandson Dimitrios Theodoros (coming
from her first grandkid with her own name….).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I remember when she came at the hospital to meet him, how
she held him and the sparkle in her eyes when we told her he is eating well –
true to her nature – feeding the kids is always a priority. And then the many
visits with him and the giggles the two of them had, while playing. And during
Easter, that she was carrying him around telling him stories. I am thankful
that we raised our phone and captured those moments.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaC5jAHWGo9f1bI1QB7FA5grKj2sO4DtJfVPm0bEX72d_DkrVrHdZeVSFkYv_MeqlnfhXkOaztSsHCJ9g6iF53-mH3efrf82QwkiyD5RJSmaoPRvH1qXy2kFo50uZZN5W4GHJ9B478l8/s1446/20210103_150356.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1446" data-original-width="1057" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaC5jAHWGo9f1bI1QB7FA5grKj2sO4DtJfVPm0bEX72d_DkrVrHdZeVSFkYv_MeqlnfhXkOaztSsHCJ9g6iF53-mH3efrf82QwkiyD5RJSmaoPRvH1qXy2kFo50uZZN5W4GHJ9B478l8/w129-h177/20210103_150356.jpg" width="129" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIrO1kA4trKrzqAzLkIG3koLj8aA6PXPaUTfutXYIjPUFkaWIyawURlJaLL7seanRBzpe_hb20jK1u-DAAQcEdMIsbdYWSK2Knp8v9oGlpDI2duC3_CJ0iryjx-nvmSjq7WNj28ROI-vU/s1080/20210103_150154.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="736" data-original-width="1080" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIrO1kA4trKrzqAzLkIG3koLj8aA6PXPaUTfutXYIjPUFkaWIyawURlJaLL7seanRBzpe_hb20jK1u-DAAQcEdMIsbdYWSK2Knp8v9oGlpDI2duC3_CJ0iryjx-nvmSjq7WNj28ROI-vU/w225-h153/20210103_150154.jpg" width="225" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JI9eahAkXY4OYtFH6jPpKcvvb-KKx3T2NzAnGU1SZjTjFMB9e0sf3JOrduJ7AvWMj5OeAybeUlnNoIXcqg4_Gd_r8_JXpNXzQcf5uEg1ovMV4TcbnPmP2PXxU6jn1HTJHikk_3tex9Y/s1080/20210103_150116.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="804" data-original-width="1080" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JI9eahAkXY4OYtFH6jPpKcvvb-KKx3T2NzAnGU1SZjTjFMB9e0sf3JOrduJ7AvWMj5OeAybeUlnNoIXcqg4_Gd_r8_JXpNXzQcf5uEg1ovMV4TcbnPmP2PXxU6jn1HTJHikk_3tex9Y/w208-h155/20210103_150116.jpg" width="208" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Next her situation deteriorated slightly. From the birth of
Dimitri until the birth of Philippos, her mind got progressively confused – not
gone but not quite there. I learned a lot about her life at the village
listening to her during the (few admittedly) times we visited.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRVqr3K3jDKepjjS32ORLIU4FznmoaGnUsdnkaEjxrrrtsH7T_LpOTW6AGaxsTJx2qC6Z4SB1UmmlBgi7USbtXki_y8x1S63j2k9N31TcFd39B3LEdCu6M4zlZgg3uRycaGV3TE_MoHr4/s1213/20210103_145935.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1213" data-original-width="1080" height="139" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRVqr3K3jDKepjjS32ORLIU4FznmoaGnUsdnkaEjxrrrtsH7T_LpOTW6AGaxsTJx2qC6Z4SB1UmmlBgi7USbtXki_y8x1S63j2k9N31TcFd39B3LEdCu6M4zlZgg3uRycaGV3TE_MoHr4/w123-h139/20210103_145935.jpg" width="123" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTuf8C2Ou4e9JxQKMLM17Qn7IxdvCSrcMBzpAXEBhHAmxaonurN7zKxDx_04UuR7Z1O7EJ0RF6XK4xIUMMPMmPXWyrC7mJf5gmkQSQ-Bc_SBofHMcI2OFRrBj3awUcku35a97hcWVvWYg/s1484/20210103_145946.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1484" data-original-width="1080" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTuf8C2Ou4e9JxQKMLM17Qn7IxdvCSrcMBzpAXEBhHAmxaonurN7zKxDx_04UuR7Z1O7EJ0RF6XK4xIUMMPMmPXWyrC7mJf5gmkQSQ-Bc_SBofHMcI2OFRrBj3awUcku35a97hcWVvWYg/w114-h157/20210103_145946.jpg" width="114" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRgESkN-tTmF8obUcqOLXP0OPauY1W5M0abHuHBdKMJgY5ZuWQHv_1EsajH98tXc7oHiBGdgPOGimpJ32761mVQSgRiqHf786xkAK4M33d-CyQkV1tm86pWTwjBebXg1bqcd8P-KbcLY/s1483/20210103_145816.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1483" data-original-width="1080" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguRgESkN-tTmF8obUcqOLXP0OPauY1W5M0abHuHBdKMJgY5ZuWQHv_1EsajH98tXc7oHiBGdgPOGimpJ32761mVQSgRiqHf786xkAK4M33d-CyQkV1tm86pWTwjBebXg1bqcd8P-KbcLY/w110-h151/20210103_145816.jpg" width="110" /></a><br />
<p class="MsoNormal">And then she held Philippos and we saw again that smile and
that sparkle in her eyes. A child was born; the world has been again a more
hopeful place for her. And she played with him and hugged him – although every
now and then, the mind would take over and confused her: «<span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">αυτο</span>, <span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">ποιανου</span><span lang="EL"> </span><span lang="EL" style="mso-ansi-language: EL;">ειναι</span>;” … <span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">“this
one, whose is it?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Our (my)
last memory of her was a praise to who she was exactly even if we didn’t know
it at the time: we visited her on Mother’s day in 2019. No, I don’t think she
knew who we were but her body that was calm showed that she knew there was love
and a bond between us.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs4ZlKjHfJ9cKaBFmDFJyLycA6NRCw1JN5HWjGaDwcuJRv-1VVSNhU8e2QjlBXPeR7J5ssKIT1C4Ev1V__LQk9qrNdNbwT3GD5adpewAuLNq0TaERwc0eECNNgnTNyabkYeXtDCiynxw8/s1406/20210103_152402.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1406" data-original-width="1080" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs4ZlKjHfJ9cKaBFmDFJyLycA6NRCw1JN5HWjGaDwcuJRv-1VVSNhU8e2QjlBXPeR7J5ssKIT1C4Ev1V__LQk9qrNdNbwT3GD5adpewAuLNq0TaERwc0eECNNgnTNyabkYeXtDCiynxw8/w158-h206/20210103_152402.jpg" width="158" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5ItjwPUYTVpksyza28qZVU1HQo7ry1xm7Bsq1baTR0wfeaZxz1AT9ALfYjtS5RDDcHpNWv8GFMgJ_KQbAwMJoDbreAFk3a9_6WtIAHyzktRq_VzHR7i63du0BExzapdZY4-iEltKcEw/s1096/20210103_152413.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1096" data-original-width="1068" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5ItjwPUYTVpksyza28qZVU1HQo7ry1xm7Bsq1baTR0wfeaZxz1AT9ALfYjtS5RDDcHpNWv8GFMgJ_KQbAwMJoDbreAFk3a9_6WtIAHyzktRq_VzHR7i63du0BExzapdZY4-iEltKcEw/w170-h174/20210103_152413.jpg" width="170" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWskUnSBHlZwnudlzK-0sweIhHr4p_lps_8A6cda30pKYSwbBkt6OpM6A4jhHrKVrhBRNIc_OY3i2s-3GtYrHP0dlNA-mMWUyVuX1kPNp77vMiNLBsg1dVd-GIcN-dMp-2b1JDv8r7lM/s1061/20210103_152423.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="1061" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWskUnSBHlZwnudlzK-0sweIhHr4p_lps_8A6cda30pKYSwbBkt6OpM6A4jhHrKVrhBRNIc_OY3i2s-3GtYrHP0dlNA-mMWUyVuX1kPNp77vMiNLBsg1dVd-GIcN-dMp-2b1JDv8r7lM/w193-h145/20210103_152423.jpg" width="193" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">She held my
hand tight throughout the visit, but her eyes were following the boys in the
room, everywhere. Until they started singing and she left a sigh and a tear and
she smiled:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span></i></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Twinkle, twinkle little star<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">How I wonder where you are<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Up above the world so high<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Like a diamond in the sky…..<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-86153283019616236142020-12-12T11:31:00.000-08:002020-12-12T11:31:22.778-08:00Holidaying in 2020 - lessons from a wave<p style="text-align: justify;"> </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This year's holidays for our family were interesting, different and once in a lifetime like I guess most of the experiences we had this year, right?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Our holidays: <span> </span><span> </span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><span>smelled of hand sanitizer;</span></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><span><span>had a view of forms and thermometers;</span></span></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span>felt like a long-distance, a social distance;</span></span></span></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span>sounded like the covid numbers on the radio;</span></span></span></span></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><span>had a sour taste that the world is not going to be the same before.</span></span></span></span></span></li></ul><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">But we were together, the four of us against the world....</p><p style="text-align: justify;">During lockdown this year, we got to spend more time with our kids and with each other. It was all, however, within the stress of everyday life, within crisis management conditions, within the fear of the unknown that was unfolding slowly day by day. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This year gave me the gift of re-evaluating my desires, needs and priorities (we were among the lucky ones). These holidays were the closing of the "deal". We saw each other not as we do daily but as who we really are. We enjoyed life's small things, that are not small after all. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Yes, I stressed about our "dear fellow South Africans" that cannot (or in many cases do not want to) protect themselves and their loved ones. I realised how grateful we are and should be for our living conditions but also what a great responsibility our privilege carries. I realised once more that the change will not come from huge, pompous actions or waiting for every person in the world to join before starting something. </p><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>A wave does not start big and strong. It starts at some point in the middle of nothing. It raises high up and it looks fierce with all the foam it makes. You can see from that if the wave is going to make an impact. As it folds and proceeds, the strength continues to the right and left around it, as more parts of the water join in this great "foldin" of waters. Does it stop there just because more followed and joined and made it strong? No! It continues into reaching the final purpose, the final destination, to touch the shore. </i></p></blockquote><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>In this journey, it meets more waves that started close by, that might have also met more and more and all of them move together towards the shallow part. When this companonship of waves gets to the beach, the strength and force has died down, but the impact is there: the foam at the shallows is visible, is visible, tangible, real. But it has taken some time and some working together to make it sustainable. </i></p><p></p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>On its way, there are rocks, there are hurdles. Does the companionship stop there? Does it give up and only try where there are no hurdles? No! It calculates the impact there. It goes around and on top of the rocks - it goes gently to explain to the hurdles the reason it goes that way. And over the years, the wave convinces the rock either to come with or to just allow it to go over without resistance: something that will either slowly disappear or something that will strengthen the movement more. </i></p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>When the wind does not blow, there are no waves. There is calmness, a state of equilibrium where no one is going to be benefitted by a change. The wave has no underlying reasoning to rise, no reason to react, to change, to shout. It lives peacefully, and only moves around trusting its surroundings all in harmony. </i></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: justify;">And what we learned from our holidays in 2020 is that taking a break trusting the calm, is also an intentional step to the right direction, to be prepared for joining a wave or being a wave. It is a step towards strength and change of perspective that has the potential to change everything afterwards. </p><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span>So, whether at home or on the road, at the beach or the mountain, we all deserve a pause this year. An intentional, deliberate, break to re-evaluate, relook at things, re-love ourselves, our families and the world. A pause that will make us strong waves for 2021. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Don't wait for the perfect view, the perfect conditions, the perfect timing and time period, the perfect calmness, around you. Claim your <i>pause </i>even on an evening after everyone is sleeping or on an early morning when everyone else is still in bed and you can look or dream of the <i>waves</i>. </p><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIVaTcUXsHrGE4a7ZQYfmc2X3NYUEVLyununnOTKUI_yFlULe1E6uCSMPm6bY528qGs5AJOkNhMFp03RTjCoh-1nYii5UrqloXh4EeMI7mP5F7d37wcBMHV6A98F0qbDRFYF0cHsXTM5o/s914/130971260_10158565273455211_2537028444509356725_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="914" data-original-width="900" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIVaTcUXsHrGE4a7ZQYfmc2X3NYUEVLyununnOTKUI_yFlULe1E6uCSMPm6bY528qGs5AJOkNhMFp03RTjCoh-1nYii5UrqloXh4EeMI7mP5F7d37wcBMHV6A98F0qbDRFYF0cHsXTM5o/w205-h208/130971260_10158565273455211_2537028444509356725_n.jpg" width="205" /></a><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">PS. (me and PSs....old habits)</div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Our holidays ALSO: </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><p></p><ul><li style="text-align: justify;">smelled of watermelon, and sunblock and the ocean breeze;</li><li style="text-align: justify;">had a view of ocean waves and smiling eyes behind masks;</li><li style="text-align: justify;">sounded like music in the car and the boys' giggles in the night when they promised they are going to sleep;</li><li style="text-align: justify;">tasted like ice cream and chips and an ocean-salted kiss;</li><li style="text-align: justify;">felt like a tight hug and togetherness.</li></ul><p></p></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-18411714967531459202020-10-28T13:07:00.002-07:002020-10-28T13:07:59.669-07:00National Young Academies of Science: Towards a mature and integrated scientist <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt;">Where do I fit in in the discussion about
Young Academies of Science, leadership and career development? </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt;">So, I am a member of the South African
Young Academy of Science (<a href="https://www.sayas.org.za/">SAYAS</a>) – outgoing co-chair, a member of the Global
Young Academy (<a href="https://globalyoungacademy.net/">GYA</a>), former co-leader of the women in Science working group and
also a fellow of the Africa Science Leadership Programme (<a href="https://www.futureafrica.science/index.php/programmes/aslp">ASLP</a>). </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXD3m09WbM6-npiGIKymWE6ieFpqKy83dpM4lGVNeTNYSN3kpn7zAKGnki0yR3YXEcqfdwh2mS7z8yQftMkkLZANlWn0MqpMfIbUg7qg_voX8pcwnylCS6u9z3mZPukBGC2Z5mapBkkk/s1280/56976995_718154608581622_8526089757116071936_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXD3m09WbM6-npiGIKymWE6ieFpqKy83dpM4lGVNeTNYSN3kpn7zAKGnki0yR3YXEcqfdwh2mS7z8yQftMkkLZANlWn0MqpMfIbUg7qg_voX8pcwnylCS6u9z3mZPukBGC2Z5mapBkkk/s320/56976995_718154608581622_8526089757116071936_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><span style="background: white; line-height: 107%;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span></div><span style="color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Does anybody count the acronyms? Hehe</span></div>
<o:p></o:p></span></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">In a variety of different discussions
within this year, I made a statement paraphrasing the one by US President
Kennedy “Ask not what the Young Academy of Science can do for you, but what you
can do for the Young Academy of Science”. By this statement, I am pointing out
an interesting phenomenon with the organisations I am involved in: the more you
give the more you take. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">So let me take the discussion a step
back….<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">In 2017, the Dean of my Faculty asked me
to apply to become a member at SAYAS. Being in social sciences, economics, I
was not even sure of what exactly that meant, but I felt flattered for the
recommendation and started looking to learn more about it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQAq7nuB9-3sqELmC0XX2PYBgIWF6ZRmgiIvwFgh0iZAXvx-vnTGtg9euzObfQxPVHdN7hC91U-OJ-14xzaQCpLMOnjBfHSXaeOhg9MHWdA3Ey6MfEg3f8Zh5z9O_CjtHDDJzv1i3Z3_o/s960/87047240_10162801113885198_6682847569296490496_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQAq7nuB9-3sqELmC0XX2PYBgIWF6ZRmgiIvwFgh0iZAXvx-vnTGtg9euzObfQxPVHdN7hC91U-OJ-14xzaQCpLMOnjBfHSXaeOhg9MHWdA3Ey6MfEg3f8Zh5z9O_CjtHDDJzv1i3Z3_o/s320/87047240_10162801113885198_6682847569296490496_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">What is the purpose of a Young Academy?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: 36pt;">To provide
a voice for young scientists</span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left;">To bridge
the gap between science/academia and policymaking</span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left;">To make an
impact on society and bring communities closer to science</span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left;">To inspire
the younger generations to think of science and academia as a career option.</span></li></ul><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I was sold. Two of my personal purposes
for joining academia right there. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">1) to create and inspire the next
generation of scientists and 2) to make sure the research outputs of scientists
are communicating with policymakers and make an impact on society. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">That is the important point of the Young
Academies’ purpose. Although misused at times by individuals, a Young Academy
is together for the greater good, for the impact to society, for the
improvement of a country and the nation. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">How can that be done through their
purpose? <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Directly, by being part of the public
debate with regards to science. </span></span></li><li><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Indirectly, by creating the next
generation of science leaders that have the potential to make a difference. </span></span></li></ul><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">At the point that I got
accepted in SAYAS and GYA, I was not familiar with the definition and the terminology of science leadership, impactful research, multidisciplinary
approaches etc. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i><a href="https://www.scientificleaders.com/def_leader/"></a></i></span></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i><a href="https://www.scientificleaders.com/def_leader/">Leadership is the ability to guide others without force into a direction or decision that leaves them still feeling empowered and accomplished.</a></i></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><a name="_heading=h.gjdgxs"></a><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;">Many
academies in the world aim at the development of a generation of future science
leaders that will make an impact in academia, the communities and beyond.
However, many times the interaction is still based on ad-hoc engagements. In
the African continent particularly, the general argument is that young
researchers should be spending their time in labs and writing grants and
publications instead of being involved with such initiatives. But isn’t this
exactly what silences the voice of young scientists? How will they be involved
in future research strategies at the national level that affects <b>them </b>before anybody else?? How can we
create research and scientific communities that are engaged, representative and
transformation-minded as per Prof Slippers <a href="http://www.scielo.org.za/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0038-23532016000600003">paper</a> of 2016 in the South African
Journal of Science (SAJS). <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><o:p><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></o:p></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO0wvlaBvKfr3jmJ8WEsehw6RtPACqgdKTVaJjwqvSBjEbdsRniHvGdBdsazmiBRvLMO3xjwi6E0WdK5GCKqf_gAsyt9NMXQ_nx_PLCRlNC74RA4JcK_nHSM8gxZDXxKb1PnwpcRLkgCM/s960/54515715_10156821240760211_8725500853831598080_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO0wvlaBvKfr3jmJ8WEsehw6RtPACqgdKTVaJjwqvSBjEbdsRniHvGdBdsazmiBRvLMO3xjwi6E0WdK5GCKqf_gAsyt9NMXQ_nx_PLCRlNC74RA4JcK_nHSM8gxZDXxKb1PnwpcRLkgCM/w320-h248/54515715_10156821240760211_8725500853831598080_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></p></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">I have one answer to that that takes me
back to my initial statement.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i></i></span></span></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i>By being active science leaders<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i>By asking what we can do for society and
for the promotion of the academies </i></span></span></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i></i><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><o:p><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3qQtmSOb6eg5q18VOagLOAl-2Fna0AuX3kfId28UHeJPGMME_DH838BV2CLOA8XZPq8NDqFGDJuYgAnNT7MTE4y2ZibQVKEOwUE5Py_mM-xaEWnCsr5d-AWzdR7fMZejW0inuZPkMhGk/s960/57390167_10156902290270211_7181816000499679232_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="578" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3qQtmSOb6eg5q18VOagLOAl-2Fna0AuX3kfId28UHeJPGMME_DH838BV2CLOA8XZPq8NDqFGDJuYgAnNT7MTE4y2ZibQVKEOwUE5Py_mM-xaEWnCsr5d-AWzdR7fMZejW0inuZPkMhGk/w149-h252/57390167_10156902290270211_7181816000499679232_n.jpg" width="149" /></a><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 18.6667px;">And then this involvement will bear fruits without us even realizing it. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt;">So let me share with you the changes that
have happened in my life both at a personal and professional level since my
involvement with all the acronyms:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><span style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;">Networking with a wider sense, I met people from fields
and countries that I have never thought I would in my life. In many cases,
research fields that I didn't even know existed. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">You may wonder how that had
an impact on me: I came out of my comfort zone and the things that I believed
were reality. It made me think more widely when it came to my research. It has
broadened my horizons. That is why I am saying it with a wider sense. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">The last few years, my relationship with the acronyms has taught me that the
future of research and science is </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><i><u>multidisciplinary</u></i></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">.</span></li><li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">We tend to work in silos in the traditional and
old-fashioned scientific community. The only environment we used to know was
the one we saw every day. National Academies of Science and the Global Young
Academy demonstrate the </span><b style="color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><i><u>diversity </u></i></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">and we can only learn from each other.</span></li><li><b style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -18pt;"><i><u><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;">Community engagement</span></u></i></b><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;"> for me was an eye-opener through the activities. The
“acronyms” allowed me to make an impact and think of ways on how scientists can
really make a direct impact and also learn from the communities. </span></li><li><b style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -18pt;"><i><u><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;">Engagement with various stakeholders</span></u></i></b><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;"> in science and academia. In the last few years, I have
met with policymakers from government departments that are in strategic
positions for researchers and scientists, with inspiring role models from my
country or the world and the broader academia that most probably I would not
have the chance to do so otherwise. Particularly via SAYAS the opportunities to
discuss with them and potentially make a difference by sharing with them the
challenges and the needs of scientists nowadays. </span><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></li><li><b style="font-family: georgia; text-indent: -18pt;"><i><u><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;">Mentored and mentor others</span></u></i></b><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">. With the way Academies are organised, new members as we
enter the academy there are already older members there to share experiences
and expertise in science leadership. In our turn, we can pass the knowledge and
lessons learned with the next members. This torch race creates a legacy of
scientists that proudly share, mentor and inspire each other. Such mind-sets
are beneficial for supervisory tasks with students as well.</span></li></ul><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333130; font-family: georgia; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">The alignment and linkage on
how the time devoted to the Young Academies is not a waste of time for young
scientists, as many would think, is quite obvious. </span></div><p></p><p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">To close, institutions and academia
should be intentional about science leadership development through young
academies of science as they are essential for young academics in their path to
develop their career further (and faster?) and be equipped and inspired to make
an impact. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">And the same way, scientists should also strive to engage with
activities in the Young Academies with a purpose to make an impact on society
and at the same time to self-development. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSngTt19XOBxQRRjWOJ35FS-_0XVBbky48srUxp2SiKz5uU7oI_kyDvuT803hlVcUBWuFeNQpaDDGW5rfBmkGwwXWRGGSifKWMOi6ImVrBNE5hqZ0nw9-I1u7IaQMw5Hc6R8M9fI5e5EY/s1080/WhatsApp+Image+2020-10-16+at+12.03.09.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="617" data-original-width="1080" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSngTt19XOBxQRRjWOJ35FS-_0XVBbky48srUxp2SiKz5uU7oI_kyDvuT803hlVcUBWuFeNQpaDDGW5rfBmkGwwXWRGGSifKWMOi6ImVrBNE5hqZ0nw9-I1u7IaQMw5Hc6R8M9fI5e5EY/w475-h315/WhatsApp+Image+2020-10-16+at+12.03.09.jpeg" width="475" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background: white; color: #333130; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-highlight: white;"></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">From my talk at a Webinar organised by the Cameroon Academy of Young Scientists (CAYS) and the Global Young Academy (GYA) on the 23rd of October 2020.</span></p></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Thankful to Prof Justine Germo, President of CAYS and fellow of the Africa Science Leadership Programme (ASLP)</span></p></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-80426375708988643602020-08-17T00:26:00.003-07:002020-08-17T00:26:45.242-07:00My South Africa<p><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b> is the one that smiles with the eyes – even behind
the mask. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is the one that says Dumela or Good morning
or any other greeting – the language does not matter, the well-meant wish does. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is the one that sings in the taxi stop. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is the one that cheers you when they see you
struggling in the uphill (literally and metaphorically). <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is the one that is in pain, that “bleeds”
right and left but we have overcome worse, we will do it again. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is sunshine in the winter and a cool summer
storm. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> is not a rainbow or black and white; it is
more than that, it is all the colours and shades to create the most amazing
pictures of the world around us. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b> is the definition of "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" (Aristotle). </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> shares. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> cares.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica</i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> hopes. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><i>MySouthAfrica </i></b><span style="font-family: georgia;">will bounce back. </span><o:p></o:p></p>Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-70244104790950894162020-04-15T12:20:00.002-07:002020-04-15T12:32:09.628-07:00One month #stayhome thoughts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">A month (and a day) ago, on a
Sunday evening we heard President Ramaphosa announcing that the coming Thursday
the country is entering a 21-day period of lockdown – to be later expanded with
extra two weeks. That Monday, our family decided to #stayhome – it is 30 days
today, a full month!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZjdkFKGYvMhHZ9mpOpI_HUwIslfRdTLLP9N-gQspOF0fy2YRzhQmi17kig7SqHhKjVmGMkNRKU3m4uFDoNsZONHXb1Go9frhrwyopWoIr2_HQ4PDAi8pDpuZYkIy8LP5k-PN3o8gfl3w/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="163" data-original-width="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZjdkFKGYvMhHZ9mpOpI_HUwIslfRdTLLP9N-gQspOF0fy2YRzhQmi17kig7SqHhKjVmGMkNRKU3m4uFDoNsZONHXb1Go9frhrwyopWoIr2_HQ4PDAi8pDpuZYkIy8LP5k-PN3o8gfl3w/s1600/download.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Overall, our family has dealt with
the situation with positive energy, although not all the days are as if out of
a TV commercial. We don’t laugh the whole time, although we try. We don’t cuddle
the whole time, although we want. We don’t sing and dance, although the boys
have the energy to do so. But as a family, we do many things together; we value
the family meals and discussions, we read books laying in one bed, we watch
movies holding hugs, we work productively so that we play afterwards, and we
fight and makeup. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Most of all, this lockdown gave us
more time to think – slow thinking though, not the one that is compulsory for
work purposes. Here, I am sharing four of the recurring thoughts of this month,
those that came initiated from varying incidents and interactions, readings and
discussions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<h1 style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">1) Family
balance is the result of hard work.<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">“Your kids are doing so well” or “You
look like you have this under control”. Yes, in general, we do, but that got me
thinking. Discussing with others, some characteristics are common and that is
not more love, or more blessings, or more luck. Don’t get me wrong in that,
love helps. The boys are calm and relaxed because of their parents like being
together. It would not have been as easy otherwise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">But, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>teamwork</u></i></b> wins:
I am not helping my partner, and he is not helping me, we are in that together.
It is not easy always but we have a common goal: a harmonic, efficient,
productive and happy everyday life. Reading online how to deal with kids these
days, the opinions and advice vary from "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">let
the kids play the whole day" </i>to "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have a
strict schedule and routine".</i> In our household, we are prone-routine (at
least the three of the four… our youngest is more of a free spirit). Our boys
are calmer and friendlier when they know what to expect from their day. We had
to show them somehow that we are not on holidays. As the parents have to work,
the kids also have to “work” at certain times of the day. We enjoy the weekends
all together that differentiate from the working days. Calmness comes only from
the realisation that we are not all the same and each family knows at heart
what works: usually, it is what always worked before the lockdown. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div>
<h1 style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">2)
Challenging times are a magnifying glass<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">The #lockdown and #stayhome have not
created relationships, friendships and personalities from scratch. Difficult
conditions intensify and bring out the superlative of everything. Relationships that were
strong become stronger, and those that were on the surface just disappear.
Negative people tend to get blinded in their negativity and cannot see anything
positive anymore. Naturally stressful people just stress more now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Have there not been any surprises?
Of course, yes, but in my mind, there were surprises to the rest of us. It was
just because we did not know the person that well, or because the person has
not allowed us to see that trait of theirs. Leaders rise in challenges: it is
their time to show their capability – not to show off. Those that are
opportunistic in nature will be revealed easily in such times. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div>
<h1 style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">3) Perfect
timing to relook at our “reality”. <o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">This time away from our everyday
routine is a luxury to prioritise the things we do and value in our everyday
life. What is the reality we want to go back to? What are the pieces and the
people that miss the most? To do so, we don’t need to do meditation or yoga or
anything else. Everything was clear to me the moment I started writing down
everything that came in my mind that I would like to do after the lockdown. It
is crystal clear there that some people are more important in my life, some
places are more special to me and some things I miss more than others (and some
foods I am dying to eat more than others). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">In our “normal” life, there are so
many things that we postpone due to lack of time but is that really the correct
reason? Now it is the time to evaluate that. I am not amongst those that say we
should use this time to learn a new language, start a new hobby or read your
whole bookcase. The simple reason? Not all of us have soooo much extra time –
we still work, homeschool, clean our houses, cook (and bake, right?) and we are
also stressed with all the uncertainty. However, what we can all do is ask
ourselves whether it was because of limited time or lack of desire that prevented
us from completing the tasks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1 style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">4) Different
people and views + mature debate = PROGRESS<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I realised that people are truly
connected not when they agree, not when they come from similar backgrounds and
not when they lead similar lifestyles. They connect when:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
</div>
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">they
work and think with the same ethical values and priorities;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">they
can disagree while debating with maturity where everybody is heard and
understood and more importantly, not impose their opinion;</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">they
dream of the same world and future.</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I thought of stop saying my opinion
and thoughts online because some people that disagree do not know how to debate
in public. I thought of not reading other people’s opinions for fear I am going
to get disappointed but I decided against both. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I offer my opinion and I am open to
disagreements that have to be however justified and motivated. If the opinion
is extremist, based on sources that are not reliable, diversifying and aiming
to intensify negativity then sorry I don’t tolerate it and I don’t have time
for it. The maximum I might do is to ask for more information to find out on
what facts is the opinion based and avoid possible misunderstandings from my
side. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Otherwise, I hear or read the
discussion and I categorise those that I disagree with in three groups: 1) th</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -18pt;">ose
mature to understand that there can be disagreement and we continue
afterwards with life as before; 2) </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -18pt;">those
that are stubborn, hold grudges and it is perfectly fine if they don’t want to
talk to me afterwards; 3) </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -18pt;">those
whose opinions are against my own ethics system that I don’t want to talk to anymore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Life would have been boring and uninteresting
if we only heard our own voice, our own theories and beliefs. By sharing our
thoughts, listening to others and debating, our own views and perspectives
improve, get stronger, change, alter and move afterwards. And for that, it is
worth going through some upsets and frustrations at times. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Final reminder to myself<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">All in all, I realised I need to be
kinder to myself; it is okay to not do it all (thanks <a href="https://ericalayne.co/" target="_blank">#thelifeonpurpose</a>). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I need to prioritize and I ask if I really want to do something as opposed to if I have time to do
something. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I cannot control what other people
think and believe – but if I want a better world for all, I need to listen to
them, I might be wrong too. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I need to know with whom I should
debate when I feel strongly about my own evidence-informed opinion.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I need to realise with whom and
when to stop, either because I disagree in the matter or I disagree with the
perspective. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">I should keep working hard for the
balance in our household, not only for my own calmness but for my boys too. </span></li>
</ul>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">When the lockdown is finished, when
we all go back to normal, we have the once in a lifetime opportunity to go back
to our </span><i style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">chosen</i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"> normal.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Let’s make the
challenging times count.</span></span></blockquote>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br /></div>
Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-75058706048615732852019-11-13T22:30:00.002-08:002019-11-13T22:30:37.341-08:00UN Science and Peace Week: The role of African women in the development of the continent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Speech at the UN Science and Peace Week Inaugural Conference</div>
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Pretoria, 12 November 2019</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tG22BdsuYNJnhmlcJBZA4o1BUWAF4Rdd_GjC-yH1Lyz2Cy-Z86kOyOG6EvGPFYUytP9Pi6lQZTcrk695MWEPf5HE6dCzxKB9VXNWa-Usy9i4CK5lYbLupzfXYQs1lvLBnLlSfEdny2E/s1600/69806736_10157402614530211_8317053977992626176_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4tG22BdsuYNJnhmlcJBZA4o1BUWAF4Rdd_GjC-yH1Lyz2Cy-Z86kOyOG6EvGPFYUytP9Pi6lQZTcrk695MWEPf5HE6dCzxKB9VXNWa-Usy9i4CK5lYbLupzfXYQs1lvLBnLlSfEdny2E/s200/69806736_10157402614530211_8317053977992626176_n.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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One of the 2019 Nobel prize winners in economics, Prof Esther Duflo, wrote one of her most famous papers – or maybe just one of MY favourite ones in 2012 in the Journal of Economic literature explaining the bidirectional linkage between women empowerment and economic development. </div>
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She defined “women empowerment” as improving the ability of women to access the constituents of development—in particular health, education, earning opportunities, rights, and political participation. In one direction, development alone can play a major role in driving down inequality between men and women; in the other direction, continuing discrimination against women can, as Sen has forcefully argued, hinder development. Empowerment can, in other words, accelerate development.</div>
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Policymakers and social scientists have tended to focus on one or the other of these two relationships. Those focusing on the first have argued that gender equality improves when poverty declines. Policymakers should, therefore, focus on creating the conditions for economic growth and prosperity, while seeking, of course, to maintain a level playing field for both genders, but without adopting specific strategies targeted at improving the condition of women. In contrast, many emphasize the second relationship, from empowerment to development.</div>
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The “missing women” concept is widely discussed in the literature. It indicates a shortfall in the number of women relative to the expected number of women in a region or country. It is most often measured through male-to-female sex ratios, and is theorized to be caused by sex-selective abortions, female infanticide, and inadequate healthcare and nutrition for female children.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xytIePsNjXLo81u5OaBk4avKP6GjmPkQc9gpgWS7nPW-f3GOkzf85YsrKJYLpGK1DFP5TYWqtco3PWofJ72kPrerZguFETX_R7Fi60HAPyYRhylEo38EB_K9BBS8JF9pJbAMAXB9oM0/s1600/75077931_10157402614720211_7574500810218799104_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="960" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xytIePsNjXLo81u5OaBk4avKP6GjmPkQc9gpgWS7nPW-f3GOkzf85YsrKJYLpGK1DFP5TYWqtco3PWofJ72kPrerZguFETX_R7Fi60HAPyYRhylEo38EB_K9BBS8JF9pJbAMAXB9oM0/s320/75077931_10157402614720211_7574500810218799104_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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There is however one more way of looking at this concept. How many women were born relative to how many women were educated and how many enter the labour force. </div>
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Statistics from the World Bank’s World Development Indicators. </div>
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Population, female (% total) (2018)</div>
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World: 49.5%</div>
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Sub-Saharan Africa: 50.1%</div>
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South Africa: 50.7%</div>
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Primary education % female (2017)</div>
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World: 48.453%</div>
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Sub-Saharan Africa: 48.373%</div>
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South Africa: 48.65%</div>
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Labor force, female % total labour force (2019)</div>
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World: 39%</div>
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Sub-saharan Africa: 46.37%</div>
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South Africa: 45%</div>
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"Economic logic says to invest in and economize on the limiting factor. Many decades ago capital was the limiting factor due to technological constraints. Economic logic has not changed; what has changed is the limiting factor. Nowadays I am advocating that the limiting factor is skilled women that are actively working towards sustainable economic development". (Daly, 2012)</div>
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Policies such as the Sustainable development goals recognise the value of gender equity and equality…they recognise that women participation is important. </div>
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Why then especially in developing countries but not only there changes are slow?</div>
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Through my work as a mentor and supervisor of young African ladies, through my engagement with colleagues at the African Science Leadership Programme, the South African Young Academy of Science (SAYAS) and as a co-leader of the working group of women in science of the Global Young Academy of science, one of the main reasons is cultural…. And no, I am not going to touch on traditions…</div>
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I am talking more of mindset and perceptions that is supportive of the role of women in science and technology. I am worried that the full potential of women is locked behind historical misperceptions and norms. </div>
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Examples</div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;">When more than one PhD candidates have told me through the years that their families worry that they wont get married because they will be sooo educated. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">When undergraduate female students worry that they will have to pick between having a family or having a career. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">When female scientists feel they are always a step behind their male counterparts because there is a stereotype that women are better in admin and teaching so the responsibility all falls on them. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">When the World Development Report 2012, using data for 35 countries found a clear, unsurprising pattern: at all level of incomes, women do the majority of housework and care and, correspondingly, spend less time in market work. The difference ranges from 30 percent more time spent on housework by women than men in Cambodia to six times more in Guinea, and from 70 percent more time for childcare in Sweden to ten times more in Iraq. These differences have an impact on women’s ability to participate in market work, be fully engaged in their career, etc.</li>
</ul>
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All these show us that society is still skew: it opens the opportunities but raises the level of difficulty for women to take them because institutions do not change from the root. </div>
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How much was the Primary education % female (2017) again??</div>
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World: 48.453%</div>
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Sub-Saharan Africa: 48.373%</div>
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South Africa: 48.65%</div>
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Let me tell you now how much is the ratio of female academic staff in tertiary education as a percentage to total in 2016. </div>
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In the world 42% BUT in Sub-Saharan Africa???? 24%!!!!</div>
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Let me also tell you what the percentage of firms with a female top manager was in 2018. </div>
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World 17.9% and in Sub- Saharan Africa 15.8%!!!!!</div>
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And at a 2018 study that looked at the c-suite of S&P500 companies, only 5% of CEOS are women. </div>
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So programmes that will promote female inclusion are necessary but they need to be accompanied by a change in mindset and way of thinking. </div>
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Otherwise, they will be just another tick in the list. </div>
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The role of African women can and must play in the continent in science and technology should not be restricted to just an accumulation of knowledge and skills. These skills need to find a way to make an impact and a difference. </div>
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As a continent, we need skilled women and women in science but we need much more is women that can and want to lead the changes in the future generations of both men and women in science and technology to create hence positive loops. </div>
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Women in the African continent should become decision-makers in the households, in the African soil, in business, in technology, in academia, in policymaking and everywhere else towards a sustainable and peaceful future for all. </div>
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Daly, H. (2012) . What is the limiting factor. Available at https://steadystate.org/what-is-the-limiting-factor/</div>
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Data from the World Development Indicators of the World Bank. </div>
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Duflo, E., Women Empowerment and Economic Development. Journal of Economic Literature 2012, 50(4), 1051–1079 http://dx.doi.org/10.1257/jel.50.4.1051</div>
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Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-68441001136064131862019-09-05T09:32:00.001-07:002019-09-05T09:32:50.624-07:00Changing the world by changing people, especially our boys<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A few days ago I was invited at a
Women’s day event at Future Africa, where one of the questions posed as
conversation starter was to discuss which moments or events in our lives were
pivotal to our career thus far. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was making my notes and as I
was going deep into a self-reflection and evaluation of my career thus far, I
thought “my kids”. Now most women that became mothers will attest to the fact
that having kids contributes to the need for more hours in a single day, to the
juggle of many more things on your to-do list and in general, to the feeling of
guilt every single minute of the day. My response, however, was less driven by
everyday challenges: having kids made me realise that they are the future of
this world so I have to make sure that the world they grow up into is a better
version of the current one. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My aspiration for the future and
in a sense a motto for my life purpose is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to
change the world by changing the people</i>. Hence, all my activities, all my
efforts, all my tasks have these as an underlying axiom. As an academic, I
conduct research and I publish research; nowadays, I make sure I communicate my
research in wider audiences, out of academia too. More people read the
findings, more people’s knowledge is improved; changing the world by changing
the people. Teaching and supervising activities are the definitions of changing
the world by changing people. Every time, I see in class a face that lights
up because they understood a concept, I feel my purpose is fulfilled. That
person that is a student now might be my boys’ teacher, lecturer, boss, and a colleague or even, this person might be the politician that will make the right
decisions. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But the latest events in South
Africa (September 2019) have made me wonder about all these. I feel a
responsibility now to the world, not only to prepare it to “receive” my kids but also, to make sure I prepare my kids to be the changing catalyst to a
better world. To do so, I choose to be honest and open in my discussions with
them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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By being honest, we as parents
need to be also cautious that we don’t create human beings that are stressed,
full of concerns, worries and fears. When they heard about the xenophobic
attacks in the country, I had to explain the situation in a simple manner but
making justice to the issue “There are a few people in some neighbourhoods that
think that people from other countries should go back to their countries and
they became violent”. And then it hit me. I am from another country; what if
they are scared now that I will be asked to go back where I come from. That
question has not hit me yet, but the more I think about it, the more obvious it
becomes that I have to start the discussion again. I still don’t know how to
explain to an adult, let alone a child, that the country of origin is a reason
for violence against the person.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I heard on the radio someone
arguing that we cannot really prepare our kids, specifically boys, because we
cannot discuss with them issues of rape for example. I agree honesty is key but
also age-appropriate language is also key. A few weeks ago #bigboy wanted to
kiss #baby boy “I love my brother so much”; but as expected, #babyboy refused
“I don’t want kisses now”. The argument got heated with one’s heart shattered
“BUT I love him” and the other one feeling violated. Perfect opportunity for a
lesson, we thought! We had a discussion with them about kissing and hugging:
both people have to say YES, otherwise it’s not acceptable. So, when they asked
me this week why people are sad and protesting, I explained to them that there
was a lady in Cape Town and a guy wanted to “kiss” her; she didn’t want to and
sadly, he was upset and killed her. “BUT mama, both people have to say YES for
a kiss”….Right my boy, right….<o:p></o:p></div>
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And that is where ensuring our
kids learn to behave respectfully to the “different” to their image in the
mirror is crucial. Respectful not in a “protect and love the weaker” but in
appreciating the strengths and not making assumptions based on stereotypes.
“Mama, girls cannot play soccer,” #bigboy said one afternoon, “you and me
outside” was my response. He has not said that again. The boys have seen their
father, their superhero opening the chair for their mum to sit or the door of
the car. My comment recently to them is they can be nice and polite to ladies,
not because they are weak, but because they are precious. People tend to
confuse a strong dynamic woman as the one that does not want to be loved or
being treated politely and romantically. The two are not correlated in any way
and based on my personal experiences and preferences, I hope the examples of their
parents will mould the boys’ behaviour accordingly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A disclaimer that I should have
made much earlier: I am not saying by any means that I am a perfect mama, or
the way we raise our kids is the one and only and all the others are wrong. We
are trying our best based on our beliefs and ethics code. Also, there are more
things in our parenting choices that this post does not touch on, such as how
we deal with competitiveness, responsibility and independence for example. But
all these sound excellent in theory, right? In practice, we, like every parent
on earth, make mistakes E V E R Y S I N G L E day!!! And we also joke to each
other that our objective is to minimize “damage” subject to our skills and
knowledge of course. My personal reason for aiming at improving my parenting
skills continuously is the responsibility to this and next generations to
prepare the future citizens to be responsible, sensitive, rational, critical
thinkers and respectful to fellow human beings and nature. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Wouldn’t it be nice if we were
all like this already? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-72500795148454243032019-08-29T04:00:00.001-07:002019-08-29T04:00:35.146-07:00Women's role in decision making: Lessons from Captain Marvel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Reposted from SAYAS<br />
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<a href="https://sayasblog.com/2019/08/29/women-decision-making-lessons-captain-marvel/">https://sayasblog.com/2019/08/29/women-decision-making-lessons-captain-marvel/</a></div>
Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-28162962870477551302019-05-27T17:04:00.001-07:002019-05-27T17:04:39.826-07:00Us against the world …. My #heforshe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I could not have achieved the things that I have without my
husband. There I said it. It is about time that we acknowledge and appreciate the men that are supportive of women empowerment and it is about time that
women are comfortable enough to say that I am a human being and I need support.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Women empowerment is debated widely in the literature and in
the academic circles even more. Women and particularly mothers face extreme
challenges with regards to time management, unequal opportunities and lack of
support from their family and their institutions. Too many things are expected
from us and maybe it is us to blame in a way because we have shown that we are
able. There are cultures however that are not as supportive and conducive to
the new profile of a woman-academic/researcher and leader. There are women
among us that have thought of or they have already quit academia due to various
systemic pressures. Women with brilliant minds that decided they cannot juggle
everything because most of the times they feel alone in that. Within the whole
turbulence of discussions and condemnation of husbands, fathers and males in
general that are constraining the women’s true potential for progress, I would
like here to shout “there are exceptions that maybe confirm the rule”. I have
one of those. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I met my husband (or myprince as per past blogs) when I was
in my second year of my Masters and only brand new in South Africa. He had his
own challenges that year but I don’t remember me ever waking up in the morning
without finding an encouraging message from him. I am more productive in the
quietness of the night and hence, I was studying until the early morning hours.
Of course, him being a working person and training hard for Ironman, he could
not follow my rhythms; he would go to bed early but never, without a supporting
message to give me strength for the night sessions. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSKthIy9QmGJq46RS_5geZ3E1xrJ6UaJfIFceYq4IzIVitQgL7LZaHPrE0BjtxxLRggNJ816szbx51mokGhjIsjY9P8G8bFq-CBxGqfsm3XIBquHsAQ-PQxZWeHMS6tePmcQcvoZ6QBBs/s1600/298817_10150365177460211_2051025328_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="478" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSKthIy9QmGJq46RS_5geZ3E1xrJ6UaJfIFceYq4IzIVitQgL7LZaHPrE0BjtxxLRggNJ816szbx51mokGhjIsjY9P8G8bFq-CBxGqfsm3XIBquHsAQ-PQxZWeHMS6tePmcQcvoZ6QBBs/s320/298817_10150365177460211_2051025328_n.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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He proposed to me during the second year of my PhD. Now for
those that have not been through that journey, the second year of a PhD is the
hardest to me. During the first year, NOBODY asks you when you plan on
finishing and you don’t mind saying “I am not sure what is my specific topic
yet”. The traditional and old-fashioned society, of course, raised the doubts
“she is going to have a PhD, he does not even have a degree; how will he
feel?”. I was upset at those moments with the people, the society, the norms,
everything. So do I need to keep myself from progressing in order to
accommodate such beliefs? I was not prepared to sacrifice my dreams and
happiness for anyone. But I did not need to. The positive from all these doubts
is that it provided us with the opportunity to discuss in detail our views on
the matter. His position made me more sure about spending my life with him: “
we are partners. If you succeed, I am proud of and happy for you. If I succeed,
you are proud of and happy for me. We don’t compete against each other. It is
us against the world”.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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And through the years, he proved this view with his acts and
not just words. He has been the audience for countless lectures’ preparations
and presentations. He is my soundboard when I am confused about a research
idea. He will challenge me so that I motivate and justify my thoughts better. He
is the first one that will ask me “why not?” when I am insecure. Many times, he
is really my manager and my promoter. He does not merely allow me to have a
meaningful career; he applauds it and he would not expect anything less from
me. He was the one jumping up when the email confirming my promotion arrived,
or the NRF rating or actually every single time I tell him that a paper got
published. He is the one that will sit and discuss with me when a paper gets
rejected (sometimes pretending he is interested in what I am talking about). He
has not complained once about my travels – on the contrary, he makes sure I get
cute videos and photos from the kids every single day. (yes, I also get the
days that I want to scream “pick up the bloody coffee mug from the window” but
that’s another story).</div>
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It is the small things that count and that is something we
forget to appreciate. Saying that you support your partner in all his/her
decisions but in the crucial moment, when you are needed, you are absent does
not mean anything. All of us need approval, need appreciation, and need support.
All of us need them but even more, us women, and us women working mothers, and
us women working mothers and academics. Not because we are special and not
because women cannot do things without assistance (on the contrary….). It is
because we value this support in a different manner and because our paths are a tiny bit more difficult as we try to develop our voice. What is the one way to
receive all these? </div>
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The first step is to provide them to our partners
unconditionally because that is how relationships work. We can lead by our
example and show to our partners how it can be done (at the same time, we also
demonstrate to our daughters and sons how it is done). The second step (equally
important) is to accept graciously such support without minimizing ourselves for
doing so. We are human beings too ( WHAT???). The third step is to include our
partners in our professional lives, discuss our challenges, our fears, our
dreams and aspirations. Let’s make them partners in who we are in its entirety
and not the one side of our personality. Finally, how about we show our
appreciation openly without taking it for granted? Indeed some things are
self-explanatory (if it is not my husband that will take over the kids when I
am travelling then who? BUT he could have done so after fighting with me, or
being upset for days after I am back, but he doesn’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Maybe the key is to say thank you and I love you more often
than we do.<br /></i></div>
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<i>Make the “good guys” the example and the topic of the
discussion.<br /></i></div>
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<i>Maybe that’s the only way to provide the right role models
for future generations.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Maybe working mothers, women in science and academia, stay
at home mothers, or why not maybe more people will smile more often, will
succeed more often, and will be free to dream more and bigger. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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PS. Homework for all of us: Watch the movie "on the basis of sex" - role models for spouses and fighters</div>
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Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081869746273314002.post-21417884739915433842019-01-12T08:53:00.000-08:002019-01-12T08:53:30.999-08:00Looking inside to become a better mother...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This past December, I took some time off from work. Like REAL time off; I did not switch on the laptop, I did not answer to emails, I did not read papers for ten days. For those of you that know me well, you understand that this was not an easy decision but a much needed. I needed time to clear my mind and be with my family. Within this "being with my family" need, I also had the need to spend quality time with my two boys, observe them, understand them, and know them better. As a working mother, time is limited during the routine of everyday life. Or rather let me put it better, how many of us parents have the time to reeeeeeally sit down and talk with our kids every single day of our lives? Among school, family, work and social obligations, days come and go and we talk only about practicalities. So, my idea for these holidays was to cover for all the lost time.<br />
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At the same time, I had the need to find new ways to become a better parent (don't we all do so?) and I was determined to educate myself. I registered for two parenting courses through UDemy (<a href="https://www.udemy.com/the-top-skills-to-get-your-children-to-listen-and-cooperate/learn/v4/overview" target="_blank">How to get your kids to cooperate</a> and <a href="https://www.udemy.com/alternatives-to-saying-no-dont-or-stop-without-giving-in/learn/v4/overview" target="_blank">Alternatives to saying No, Don't, Stop without giving in</a>) and Bob's your uncle...<br />
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When we make plans though, someone up there LOLs (when did the SMS-language disease hit me?)...<br />
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My 6 and a half-year-old <i>bigboy </i>"decided" this exactly is the right time of the year to challenge his poor mum...the same mum that "decided" to be an improved version of herself simultaneously... And that is where the fights started... Fellow parents, please confirm that we ALL at some point or another of our parenting career, we have wondered "What am I doing wrong?" or "Is there something wrong with him/her?" or "What changed and we lost our communication?".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLHifOwstQMtl4M9-jaNi72Ie-xjKoEm__yKT03_vKK-1nkZuDkTqjfRLFXLEnHPaIZNjkgoRvCFwBFLN7D8bThReCHgvQE6a4xnPhNO7U5RkT_lj6qmSI1CyNYJqPwsK7WoO3JNPilC0/s1600/97fb8650c4d1af50335d4f00d99c71b3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="604" data-original-width="499" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLHifOwstQMtl4M9-jaNi72Ie-xjKoEm__yKT03_vKK-1nkZuDkTqjfRLFXLEnHPaIZNjkgoRvCFwBFLN7D8bThReCHgvQE6a4xnPhNO7U5RkT_lj6qmSI1CyNYJqPwsK7WoO3JNPilC0/s200/97fb8650c4d1af50335d4f00d99c71b3.jpg" width="165" /></a>Returning to the office in January, I was demotivated and confused. A discussion and a comment by one of my students though put things in perspective (thank you!). My student's dad - a busy professional - when taking a break, he makes people around him "pray" for him to find something to do. I took a step back and reflected on my own personality characteristics which by the way, are quite similar to my son's. When I do not have my own routine, I feel as if I am out of control. My brain looks for any chance to implement order in what it perceives as chaos.<br />
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What if my son's reacting the same way? His brain is confused during holidays; if there is no routine, it will impose one. If there are no strict rules, I will invent a few of my own. For example, to avoid fights becoming worse, I would ask him to go to his room. He knew during the holiday, this rule would not be as strict as during school time. The reaction, hence, would be disrespectful and certainly testing "my" rule: "if I say NO, would she change her mind?" and the fights became worse. Until the lightbulb moment, a new rule needed to be established "every time you start becoming difficult, I will give you a hug attack" (if you have other ideas please share...). A strict rule with clear expectations helped both of us - I don't know for how long...<br />
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What did I learn from all these?<br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Before despair, observe, analyse, get all your facts right...</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Treat the kids as if they are grown-ups. The only difference is in mastering the reactions and controlling the emotions. An adult would not growl but would be grumpy and in a bad mood for example. </li>
</ul>
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<li>Our kids, most of the time, have some personality traits of ourselves. Identify them, it will help. </li>
</ul>
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<li>One rule does not fit all and not at all times. My <i>babyboy </i>thrives if you give him options to choose and good reasonin: "Your grandfather needs help at the supermarket to pick the correct yoghurts" would have him dressed and ready in seconds to go and help, in comparison to "get dressed, you are going to the supermarket". My <i>bigboy </i>would not go to the supermarket, if the schedule in his mind did not include "going to the supermarket". (Guess who does not like changes....)</li>
</ul>
<br />Self-reflection, introspection, open communication, and objective observation of the kids' behaviour and characteristics might provide more solutions than theoretical analysis.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDWLEXHlM-hcP3AfrmS0kEqvTOJWL-LTwvfP17JFY5bArEHbXAec0xoBRYfJB4c4_FdYNhTFGN1zXPDfaUJ_MFK99xnAHn3ycy_BfqHxLuJh2DatupBDBaJkS9i5Hvi-b9JKqljKv4XbA/s1600/joe-sacco-it-is-great-to-be-introspective-self-quote-on-storemypic-d80aa.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDWLEXHlM-hcP3AfrmS0kEqvTOJWL-LTwvfP17JFY5bArEHbXAec0xoBRYfJB4c4_FdYNhTFGN1zXPDfaUJ_MFK99xnAHn3ycy_BfqHxLuJh2DatupBDBaJkS9i5Hvi-b9JKqljKv4XbA/s320/joe-sacco-it-is-great-to-be-introspective-self-quote-on-storemypic-d80aa.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Roula Inglesi-Lotzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14787103932728875158noreply@blogger.com0