Love is time is love..

The last couple of months I decided not to write (well, ok, circumstances and busy life contributed to that decision too) but I was actively observing life around me. To be more precise, I was trying to identify demonstrations of love. Any kind of love, anywhere. I have consciously convinced myself I have a purpose to seek love in all its manifestations and in all possible places. Almost like a social experiment trying to disprove the hypothesis that we live in a cruel world without love. Or maybe a personal experiment to convince myself that love is here around me and I should worry about nothing. Or maybe call it an exorcism of the bad: the more I find love, the more love will find me.

In order to do so, I had to first define love in my mind…and I looked at the dictionary….

Love (noun)

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for aparent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

In Greek (because as you know, and if you don’t, you will know: all words come from the Greek language – yeah yeah bad joke and stolen, thank you mpampa Portokalos), the word is αγαπη (agape) is defined as unconditional love – love by choice. In Greek other words are in a way included in the concept of love: φιλια (philia) which means friendship; στοργη (storgi) family love and the physical show of affection; and ερως (eros) the physical “sexual” desire.

I focused in my “experiment” to anything and everything that “touched” the idea of agape particularly shown in public but also some more personal moments. And you know what? Love is everywhere…and that is a cliché, I agree, but it is.

…in the two little hands of my boy touching my face and look at me until I wake up... in my eldest boy talking about his friend and school claiming that she is the most beautiful girly ...in the arms of a volunteer in a children home that are ready for a hug …and the same time in the eyes of a child in a home craving for a simple gesture of affection …in a parent’s face fetching their kids and listening to how their day was …and in a kid’s face waiting to be fetched by his parents from school …in a spouse’s question, like “did you sleep well?” or “do you want some coffee?” …in a message from a friend that you had lost …but also in a “good morning” by a friend with whom you chat the whole day long …in a tannie’s hug and care although inside she is dying again and again from all the memories brought back …in the tears of a proud grandparent when they hear their grandkids speak their language for the first time…in holding hands when working next to each other late on a saturday night... in knowing which one is his/her favourite movie...in just a “have a nice week” from a relative…in a person’s kindness to pay over the next two coffees at church …in a smile of a volunteer showing you where to park at church …in your friend telling you she is getting married …in an uncle that never had or wanted his own kids but is prepared to die for his nephews and nieces ...in an aunty that looks for shoes with you…in a sister that trusts her sister with her kids and even her own life when she is at her lowest …and in a sister that would do anything to honour that trust …in your friend that is a mummy now calming down her baby boy …in a baby girl making sure her mummy gets up to clap “happy birthday” for a kid they don’t even know …in a stranger stopping a couple randomly to tell them “how gorgeous and elegant you look” …in remembering all those moments of love with loved ones that are not here anymore....

And that is only a few….But what is the common denominator of all of these (and the many more)?

Time..Yes, time. It is time that is love. Time given, time taken and time passed and time devoted. Short time for a message or a life-time of love. Invaluable time that we feel so often is not enough. I wish I had one more minute to enjoy that moment; I wish I had the time to send that message; I wish I had two more minutes to express what I feel; I wish I had the time to listen to my child’s school stories; I wish I had time to make one more coffee for my husband.

And why don’t we?  Because we are busy with non-important everyday things. Not only to show love and affection but also to receive love at all its disguises, at all the different ways love is given to us. We don’t need any material things, any money or anything else other than time to show our love – we only need time. Let’s take the time…. 

And although, many believe that just expressing our love in words “I love you” is not enough, it is definitely a good start to take the two seconds to say these important three words, all the rest will follow…in good time!