Bigboy growing...

-

Today we celebrate “South African first day at school” day. You live in Mars (or in another country) if you have not posted or seen or received at least one photo or post with “My baby is going to school today” or “Grade 1 here we come” or “First day of Matric”.

I was one of these proud ones that my bigboy started Grade R. One of those that did not stop taking photos. One of those that put on their sunglasses to hide their tears. One of those that did not know if they should be happy or sad when my bigboy left me to go play with the friends. One of those that panicked the day before thinking that “I don’t have everything for the first day – what a bad mummy I am”. One of those that realised that her baby is not a baby anymore – he wears a uniform!!!

But it did not actually hit me today. It hit me a few days ago. My bigboy lost his two front teeth. They were loose for some time and we decided to visit the dentist to check if everything is fine, where he said we needed to take them both out. Bigboy was more relaxed than mummy (well I decided I will hide my nervousness in filling forms). And that was it… His smile changed. His looks changed. He even looked taller all of a sudden (am I losing it?). 

Yesterday, he announced that he is big now, he can prepare his own snack box. “Oh what a blessing”, any working mother would say, me included. And he did it! He chose his fruit, his biltong; he even made a sandwich with jam and butter! As I was taking a video (for proof), he told me very seriously that he needs to focus now and I should not interrupt him. Oh, wow!

So that is it. Bigboy is a BIG BOY now. Not only that but he is getting to become an independent boy. I am sitting here wondering though. Is independence a trait? A gene? Or something we develop over time and depending on our circumstances. Surely, a poor orphan that resides in Syria during war learns to be much more independent than the equivalent in a developed country with well-off parents, three chefs, and two nannies. Why though two siblings growing up in the same family have different independence levels? There must be a different cell in their bodies. Even more importantly, I am wondering why two people have a different need for becoming independent. Regardless of the philosophical wondering, though, I believe that the parents' attitude is crucial in raising independent kids. Exposing our kids to different situations and giving them the freedom to take initiative is at the same time challenging and rewarding. (How do you fellow parents do so? Any ideas?).

For my boys thus, I tend to avoid dreaming what and how they will be when they reach adulthood. They might go to University, or not, they might travel a lot, or make family early in their lives. However, what I wish wholeheartedly that they will be independent and proud. I will be there to help, to assist, to catch them if they fall, but I dream of seeing them flying high with their own wings and with a sparkle in their eyes.

Fly my bigboy fly…


Image result for fly my son quote





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

40 - a challenge and an opportunity

-
Image
If you have gone through it , you know what I mean. This year many of my reflections and decisions were filtered through this lens…the 40- lens…. Reaching the age of 40, I experienced a range of emotions. There has been some reflection, reflecting on the ups and downs of life and understanding how much everything has changed. It did evoke feelings of nostalgia as well as a serious pause to examine where I have been and where I am going. At the same time, turning 40 feels like a time when I can have more confidence and self-assurance. There is a sense of being more at ease with oneself and that it is good to be myself, regardless of cultural and societal expectations. It is a time for introspection and perhaps a gentle acceptance of the knowledge that comes with age, all while looking forward to what will come. As I turned 40, I have better understood what genuinely counts in relationships. Genuine friendships have taken on new meaning. Quality has surpassed quantity in my life,
Read more

Surprise them (and you) with kindness

-
Image
    “It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” L.R. Knost   Our world is cruel and harsh at times. Injustice, violence and poverty have become pictures of our everyday life all fueled by pain and suffering. Our environments have become competitive – survival instincts take over and hurt from our past and backgrounds take over. Look around, ask how many people are on antidepressants and medication for their mental health – do we solve the cruelty of the world that is painful or we learn to live with it? All doom and gloom?? If you have read my blogs before, you know that I tend to recognize the bad but focus on the good – maybe to help myself too… Our hope is our kids – cliché, right? The current theme in our family recently is kindness. It started some time ago with a “kind challenge” – which we are reintroducing now. We all get together
Read more

The liberation of knowing your purpose

-
Image
I hear the familiar jiggle sound, and a new email appears in my inbox. It is a new opportunity that excites and intrigues me. Although slightly outside my main expertise, it indicates a possibility of achieving it. Yet, as I look at my calendar, I can't help but despair over the timing – although, in the frenzy of our modern lives, when is it ever a good time? A few years ago, the first “Sorry, I am in full capacity for this year; I can't take any new projects” email was only sent in November. Last year, it was sent in September. This year, who knows? As I weigh the decision in front of me, I remind myself of the many times I have taken extra between an already busy workload. Positives and negatives in those decisions: lessons, growth, stress and time pressure, among others.   However, now I know what question to ask:   “Does this align, resonate and assist my purpose?” Although sounding too theoretical, this question has practical implications, particularly for cases where w
Read more