To the friend-that-left and the friend-that-came….
They say that the pandemic and lockdowns brought to the surface all the realities, all the facts, all the inequalities and all the feelings. Families grew stronger in the last two years, but also families broke. Going through loved ones’ losses and illnesses, hearing about other people’s losses, and being in constant fear of a phone call that would change our life has made us all re-evaluate our priorities and the significance of emotions and relationships. Such “exercise” happened consciously in some cases, but mostly without us even understanding that the process has been in action…
Social norms and obligations subdued during the last
two years. We didn’t get to see people every day at work, so our relationships
became intentional.
Very simply put, who did you long to see when in
lockdown? When could you visit only a few people, which ones did you choose?
Who was there when you just needed to rant about a difficult day?
On top of this, we all expressed opinions and thoughts
that otherwise, maybe we never got the chance to do. What do you think about
science? How do you deal with social
responsibilities? How do you deal with homeschooling and raising your kids
under challenging conditions? By no means these are the things that make or
break a friendship or a relationship, the pandemic in some way or another
exposed layers of people that we have not seen before… It even did that for
ourselves, right?
Some of these aspects said a lot about people’s
ethical values’ systems and life theories, and we wondered if that compatible
with mine? (they did the same, too…). Actions and reactions in times of need
and happiness also revealed where our relationships stand.
There are also individuals that “left” the circles (for good?). Left either consciously from their side or mine, left because we just drifted apart or left because the circumstances changed or left because they should have never been there.
So, dear friend-that-left…
thank you that you made me think twice of my priorities, of what is important
in my life and what I am ready to negotiate and what not. No, the times we
spent together are not wasted; I cherish them in my heart as precious for
making me who I am today. Yes, indeed, without you, I would not be who I am
today. You were there in difficult times before; you were there in happy and
celebratory times before, and I am thankful for that. Dear friend-that-left, only disagreeing with each other did not make us
separate. We had clashed in the past, but now, we differed in topics that we
both consider essential and non-negotiable or maybe the way we disagreed, or
the timing was not right. Dear friend-that-left,
perhaps I was that one that left, I know. Maybe from your point of view, I
was the rigid one, the one that did not step back and compromise. Yes, I admit it;
the pandemic did that to me too. Important issues such as racism, science and
vaccines, gender equality, and so many others are non-negotiables around a
table, and I choose not to keep my mouth closed anymore – because then it is as
if I show agreement in things I’m afraid I have to disagree with. But even for
this, I am grateful to you and the pandemic that assisted me in finding this strength
inside me.
You, dear friend-that-left, I have the feeling that you are the friend that taught me lessons more than anyone else… but also, by leaving, they opened the mind space for the friend-that-came. Because the real gems are right next to us, and we only need to turn our face from chasing the not-so-special to them.
Welcome to the friend-that-came…that reminded me that “στα υπογεια ειναι η θεα” (the best view is from the basement) as per the Greek song. I am looking forward to our journey together.
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