Get organised – the yes edition: decluttering the do-list

 “Stop saying yes to everything…Learn to say no….” 

This is the first piece of advice you will get if you look for ways to lower your load, find a better balance in your life, and avoid reaching overload and burnout.

Over the last six months or so, I have had the opportunity to work with a life coach via an academic leadership programme. Having too many things on my plate and being constantly busy was the first thing that came out from my self-reflection and how others see me.

Let me get that right now. I need to stress that these things are related to all the extra things an academic does and, indeed, not the standard components of one’s job. Academics also demonstrate academic citizenship by participating in projects, associations, think tanks, and committees. Also, an academic’s job is flexible, which can be a benefit and a vice at the same time: it can be used efficiently to prevent burnout (Friday morning breakfast with friends is possible because I can work at any other time in the week) but on the other side, it can also be misused (colleagues that take for granted your time on a weekend assuming that you are available just because you are around).

I needed to do something about it, and the process eventually became a full circle of awareness and reflection.

At first, I also knew inside me that I get excited and passionate about new initiatives. I joined many times for fear that this specific one might make an impact or just plainly because it makes sense…sometimes I used to accept invitations just because I was flattered that they thought of me, and how could I say no? That had to stop, I thought. I needed to upset someone by refusing.

Guess who that someone would be….. yes, me!

For every “yes”, I also forgo another opportunity in the future due to lack of time.

At the same time, for every “no”, I would think that “what if that was an important one?” or “what if I missed out on having fun?”

That is where the first step back was made. Wait, is having a lot of things to keep you busy bad in academic life? I wondered. This is one of the main reasons I am staying in academia because of the variety of options in tasks, focus areas and outcomes. I love being involved in new research and groups, learning new things, and meeting new and exciting people. So, instead of just aiming at making my list shorter, I changed my focus. I know that all these are extras, and hence, I will choose to do the extras that energise me to do all the “have-to’s”. This strategy has two main components: a) what I do with the ones already on my list and b) how I decide which new things enter the list.

If an extra becomes a burden or a negative feeling as soon as I hear about it, then take it out of the list as quickly as possible. Simple to say, challenging to do, though in practice. Some items on the list could not just leave because I have lost my passion. I had made commitments and felt that I needed to complete them before letting go. Evaluating the inactive ones was also tricky – did they become quiet because I gave little attention, or did they naturally “calm down”? Once an item on the to-do list has been too slow for the right reasons, I intentionally withdraw myself to make space for new things and other people to join the specific initiative. Who knows, it might only need new energy to fly again?

Now the new opportunities that come my way. I had to have a strategy for the inflow to the list. The straight no’s are the easy ones: these are the things that I am not particularly interested in or that I don’t think fit into who I am and who I want to be. But the interesting opportunities? The exciting ones? A new process invented – I say yes, but I state my terms and conditions. If these cannot be fulfilled, then back to the no category. So, what are these T&Cs? 

• Yes, with…. That’s my absolute favourite. A combination of delegation and being involved at the same time. So, I say yes, I will be part of this, but I would like to bring on a friend/colleague/student/mentee to work together. Double the fun, half the work.

• Yes, when…. This is useful when many everyday tasks are crammed into one period, i.e., exam times, submission deadlines etc. I say yes, I will be part of this when I am done with something else, and because most of the time, I do not want to share this with the world, I convert it to “yes, I can be part of it if we can start working in May …or in two months…” for example.

• Yes, and…. This needs extra practice and mastery. It is the one where you say yes to an opportunity and use economies of scale and combines it with another one that you already are involved in. For example, it works well with events where more than one organisation can be involved. Seeing potential synergies that will save time and resources is a real talent and skill.

I have not reached maximum efficiency in the whole process, but I am sure I am getting there. Creating boundaries is not easy when there are so many opportunities to learn and contribute. Maybe the first step is to make time boundaries and then proceed with energy/excitement boundaries, whatever works for each of us. Timing and mood also play a separate role in the decisions; very rigid rules are meant to be broken, so flexibility is critical.

The common factor in whatever strategy one follows is intentionality: be conscious about every decision and own all potentially positive and negative outcomes. Own them because they are your choice, and the system does not just pull you in.

Be intentional and in control…where you can! Enjoy the ride! 

To Riette